No Escape

Even though I want to escape this world sometimes. I can't escape, nor will I try again thanks to him.

Dear Anyone,

I feel like I'm laying on train cracks of life, as I'm tied down by my decisions. They tie me so tight I can not move. However, Instead of trying to get free I'm laying here just waiting for the train to hit me. Waiting for it to be over and done with, letting my decisions bury me. I'm looking for the escape that will end this crushing strangling feeling that is attached to this rope of decisions. 

I lay there as the ground begins to tremble with growing force. I close my eyes a brace myself for impact. I wait and wait but nothing happens so I open my eyes just to realize I'm not on the track. I'm on the train and there's no for escape me. 

The train passed the place I laid, but yet I'm still here. It charges forward and I see people just like me laying there and waiting for the escape. With grief in my heart, I watch as the train hits them and gives them the escape they wanted. One by one they were freed in a painful and permanent way.

I wonder hopelessly why I wasn’t allowed to escape my pain. How easy it would have been, how much good it would have done. I still desperately want to escape so I go to the edge of the train to try again. I lean out, letting gravity push me over the edge but as I fall something grabs my hand. I turn to look at what is stopping me now, its a person.

His kind light brown eyes are staring into mine, begging me to stay. He pulls me closer to him and wraps his warm strong arms around me. I close my eyes and the noise from the train disappears. When I open them again I’m standing on the ground and he’s still here.

I didn’t find an escape that day but I did find something even better. I found someone that cares about me and is helping me through the times I want to escape. Though I was stopped, I now understand that there is no true escape. Our decisions are what make us who we are and we have to live with them or they’ll kill us.

Thank you to the person that was there to stop me.

You helped me see that this world is worth living and,

you will always be in my heart.