I'm a Black Woman and I Love It When People Call Me Angry

This is a sarcastic essay

I'm a woman of color, a black woman of color...and I just love being labeled as the Angry Black Woman. I'm a 24 year old black woman who lives in Florida, and I really love when people call me an angry black woman.

 

I love it when white people tell me that misogynior doesn't exist, that it's something that black women say is happening to them as a way to receive some type of special treatment. I love it when people tell me that I'm "playing the victim" when I try to bring awareness to issues affecting black women in America, such as racialized sexism. I find it awesome when people who aren't black women try to tell me about my experience as a black woman instead of letting me speak about my own experiences and reality as a black woman since no one could possibly know what I go through more than a Black woman.

 

 I love living in a predominately white society where I am considered "ethnic", even though my family have been in this country for centuries longer than a lot of white people who are actually considered to be full blown Americans. I love the fact that my daughter wont find many black barbies when she walks down the isles at her favorite toy stores.

I love it when many black men tell me that problems that exclusively affect me as a black woman are not as important as issues that affect black people as a whole, basically telling me that issues that don't also affect black men aren't important and therefore shouldn’t be addressed. I think it's amazing when a lot of black men accuse me of ignoring their struggles whenever I say something about the high percentage of black women falling victims to police brutality as well as the lack of media coverage on this issue, as if I should pretend as though police brutality only happens to them and not women. I also love rappers like Lil Wayne who are highly praised by alot of black men even though they promote colorism against black women which does nothing but pit Black women against eachother while reinforcing white supremacy. I love the fact that Lil Wayne thinks black women look better "red" al though his mother and daughter are beautiful dark complected women (even his ex wife). I love it when black men feel as though I am against them and trying to create a divide against black men and black women whenever I speak out against the black men who promote colorism, or when I call out how a lot of black men are unsupportive of SayHerName despite the fact that black women are constantly behind them in the BlackLivesMatter movement. I also think it's great that black men think I am referring to all black men, which causes them to hit me wih "not all black men", when clearly I am well aware of that.

 

I love being fetishized by strange men. A few days ago, I went to the supermarket and I just loved it when some random white guy told me how much he likes chocolate, and asked me whether or not I could shake my a*s (twerk) like Nikki Minaj. I love it when people touch my hair without my permission as if I'm an animal at a pedding zoo. I love it when white and black people tell me that my hair is long for a black woman, as if all black women have the same exact hair length, or as if ALL of us are weave queens, and my favorite, when people act as though black women are the only women that wear hair extensions, instead of intelligently acknowledging the fact ALL women of all races and ethnicities wear hair extensions for different reasons, such as for length, different hair textures, different styles, etc. I find it awesome when people tell me that my hair is "different" just because my hair is kinky curly and doesn't resemble the hair type of the dominate population, which is basically considered the norm. I love when people assume that my sister is trying to "bring back the 70s fashion" with her fro when in reality, she's wearing her hair in its natural state because she likes the way it grows from her scalp. I like the fact that there are actually black women that are fired from their jobs just because they choose to wear their hair in its natural state, because white society deems it as unprofessional, uncivilized and a distraction in the work place. I like the fact that black women are pressured to conform to white standards of professionalism when it comes to their hair, which means that we have to chemically straighten our hair and make our hair look like white women's hair or style our hair in stereotypical white girl hairstyles in order to be taken seriously, black hairstyles are basically considered "ghetto". I love it that other women could wear their in its natural state at work but black women cant without generally threatening to be fired.

I love it when people tell me that I'm beautiful for a dark skinned women, as if all dark skinned women are ugly and all light skinned women are beautiful. I love knowing that the black men who tell me this have colonized minds, and were brainwashed by white media to hate their blackness and embraced the "white is right" foolishness. I love how white media tries to pit black men and black women together, by giving extra coverage to black men in interracial relationships (especially athetes) and try their best to put it in our heads that ALL or most black men are passing over black women while at the same time paying little attention to the many famous black males who have black girlfriends and black wives. I also think it's great that while they are trying to make black women feel as though the men in their racial group do not want them just because some are dating interracially, they skip over famous black women who are dating interracially (Eve, FK Wigs, Garcelle Beauvais, etc).

 

I love the fact that fake lips like Kylie Jenner's are praised while black women with naturally full lips (like Keri Washington) are not even acknowledged. I love knowing that there aren't many black women in Hollywood, especially dark complected black women, and I just love it when people complain about BET when this is the very reason why we have it in the first place! I also adore it when white feminists accuse me of trying to "divide" when I tell them that they need to acknowledge that there are issues that women of color go through that they will never understand, when I tell them that our experiences as women are shaped by our race, ethnicity, socioecominic status, sexuality, attractiveness and weight, etc

 

I love the fact people stereotype me to be "wretched" and on leeching off of government assistance as a single poor mother with multiple children with different deadbeat fathers, when in reality I'm a woman who's been involved with the same man for years, do not have any children, and is currently a working student at a college university. I love seeing the shock on people's face when I tell them this. I like it when people act surprised at how "articulate" I am, as if every black person on this earth is illiterate despite the fact that we have a black president who's more articulate than alot of white people I know. I love the fact that me and my hispanic boyfriend are followed around in stores as if we couldnt possibly have the money to afford anything.

 

I like knowing that my children are going to be systematically oppressed by a system that devalues black lives and praises white ones. I love the fact that my future son is going to be looked at as a threat by society without people even knowing anything about him. I think it's great that my son could be as young as 8 years old  and still be considered a "thug" al though he could be as far a way from being a thug then anyone could possible be. I also like living in a society that tells my daughter that black women are unattractive and ghetto despite so many black women that are the opposite. I like that my daughter is going to see less likely to see faces that look like hers in fashion shows, mainstream magazines, Hollywood films, etc,. I love worrying about the fact that seeing so many white faces being glamorized through mainstream media while women of color are rarely given the same praise may cause her to have low self esteem and may condition her to think white is right. 

 

I love it when people call me an angry black women whenever I speak my mind or call out a system that benefits white people over minorities and I also love it when Black men call me “bitter” whenever I have an opinion. I like when people try to mansplain or whitesplain to me my own experiences and call me a victim when I try to speak out against unfair treatment. And most of all, I just love knowing that it will never change.

Author's Note

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Reviews

[Carol Cashes]

Parts of this made me laugh out loud. Not because I thought it was ridiculous - quite the opposite. My friend's children are freakishly brilliant (for any ethnicity!) and I was the one who was outraged when she told me that two teachers saw one of her daughters in the hall and asked her to say "ask". While I was furious at this blatant racism, my friend told me you gotta pick your battles. Since I'm the pastiest old white lady evar! I know I have no frame of reference, but I know b******t when I see/hear it. I also understand that my outrage was based on my love for her children, who I have watched grow into beautiful young women. I'm hoping that you'll help to enlighten some people who maybe aren't exposed to the things you experience (our friends across the Pond). Be angry, and tell them in words they can't spell!

[Madame Murrell]

Thank you and I bet your children are beautiful!

[Carol Cashes]

I have one son, who is 35, and is, to coin an old phrase "foine". In my photos I have a current pic, but, lately, too many days I look like Hattie when Dick died. That's okay, any more, it's a good day if people don't ask me if I feel alright!