Where Do I Stand?

I generally feel like I collect energy from my surrounding. I build such a taint, I don't think I could pass that off. So I ask you, where do we stand?

 

I am just a mass

Though my spirit is always wandering

 

My body walks this tainted soul

But my spirit moves my body

For such a vessel can only hold one

It still feels like it will burst

For the vessel takes in everyone’s garbage

Not giving any time to my spirit

So my soul becomes a filter

A heart chakra too black

My heart weighs down my body

So the vessel walks in sludge

My spirit is my battery

Etherically charged but dimming

May a battery motivate

But only fuel the vessel’s mechanics

Maybe if two batteries worked together

Then lesson the burden of my body

But the tainted soul cannot reach for another

Cause fear overrides my will

The weight is very heavy

But I cannot ask for help

And if I may ever find love

I can only ask if she can handle me

For I am just my spirit

Afraid of his own soul

 

I am just a mass

Though my spirit is always wandering

 

Author's Note

Wonder = Wander now :)

Reviews

[Panda]

You are a mass, standing tall and strong, as your soul wanders aimlessly collecting the taint of the world. Collecting all the negativity the world has produced. Walking through sludge..as if your legs do not want to move..as if you can not take another step, but you stay strong willed, even if fear overrides your will, you keep going through the thick sludge, making it to another day.

I really enjoyed reading this piece. I loved this part "For I am just my spirit Afraid of his own soul". How can one not be afraid of their soul, when it has consumed so much taint and negativity, ah..but you are nothing like that, from what I know of you...Your soul has also consumed knowledge, kindness, and developed a big heart...a big BRIGHT heart, there is nothing black about it. We all have are times, when our heart turns black..I do a lot..But it still shines bright beneath that dark surface..the interior is brightly shining in your heart..I sense it and feel it.

I enjoyed reading this piece very much, thank you for recomending this one and the other one, I loved reading them both!

[Brett Campaigne]

The failure of soul, is the triumph of spirit.

I enjoyed this poem alot, though i'd like to nitpick at your peculiar metaphyic, it doesn't take away how great the work is.

[angelina neves]

It is intense... and makes us meditate for a wile...
We all are such a special "mass"!! I always wonder about it - or my spirit wonders!
And this reminded me that when i was young i felt it was very unfair to just have one body with so many things the "soul" and mind wanted to do at the same time... - well even today i wouldn't mind beeing more then just one! :)

[Celtic Cat]

Such intense imagery in this piece. You've said so much and given my brain and soul many things to ponder. I know what you mean about being a filter, and being weighted down....I seem to be like the "cat" I am - let me explain. I was taught that animals shelter the earth from the people in a way where they absorb much of what we let out as negative so it does not pollute the earth. I think this is why so many people are fond of their pets but don't even realize it. I say that I am like this because I feel way too much, especially things that are not mine to feel. I'm sorry if this isn't at all what you're talking about, but it is what it brought out of me, so I thought I'd share that. Moving on to your piece.....
Is wonder supposed to be wAnder? Moving instead of thinking?
I, too, feel like my soul is a battery in need of recharging quite often. A good quiet time spent in nature is usually enough to help recharge....perhaps you can find your own place to recharge, or perhaps you already have and are neglecting it like me!
I've definitely had the walking through sludge sensation on many a day, and it doesn't get any easier.
I appreciate the lines about finding another....as once I penned a piece saying I wouldn't invite anyone in "until my house was more like a home". Unfortunately, my "house" became less and less of a home but as water seeks it's own level I did find a soul quite like me...and we do try our best to "handle" each other.
These lines literally tugged at my heart strings:
For I am just my spirit
Afraid of his own soul
They are very deep, profound.

The ending is perfect....I love how you reiterated the beginning there.
This is simply a wonderful piece of writing that I think many of us can relate to, or at least know someone who can. Very good work here, kindred soul.

[nicole]

I deeply agree with Deileah. You do appear to have many emotions, & this wonderful poem shows them through. I really liked this. It was beautifully written.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

You have deep emotions well expressed, good job. Thank you for sharing. Debileah