Chapter 1: It All Begins

          Today was a grey, cloudy day.  People's blinds were closed.  The strangest thing about today is that it's Christmas morning and there was no smile in sight.

   As I walked down the street I could hear the carolers bells scaped against their cases and and their hum turn sour.

   As the horse drawn carriges drawled nearer I could see the unstedines in the horse's steps.  I looked to my right and saw a man.  He had his hood over his head, and had a slimy, yellow, toothy grin on.  He had bags under his eyes that seemed to be the color of coal.

      Something about his presance sent a shiver down my spine. I listened closely again and noticed that the usual Christmas songs had been cut off and a strange voice came over the intercomes....

Author's Note

what do you think???

Reviews

[Steph K]

you have the ability to invoke the right amount of mystery into something. nice touch, this seems like an amazing chapter drawing your reader toward more.

[Dearantlers]

i want to know what went wrong really badly. this is a really good start.

[Uc Amalu Jr]

wow! What could possibly have gone wrong with this christmas? Nice start, the suspense is perfect for a chapter one.

[Hunter C. Brown]

great chapter, really descriptive

[BrynnaW.]

Comma between grey and cloudy. Other than that small thing a brilliant beginning. You need to make the chapters longer though. I am interested to see what comes next. A Very good description in this scene. :) I really enjoyed reading it. Good job! Keep on writing so I can keep on reading!!