Climbing beyond the silence

I'll climb
the tallest mountains with no stress,
I just need~
a helmet, rope, and other climbing gear,
warm layers, good boots, maybe some fear,
a bit of my heart in my mouth,
to chase the butterflies from my belly~"
no need to fight against my shadow~
it'll be too light upon the rock,
wrapping
                     my image around
the creeps
   like a siamese twin
afraid to be

u n j o i n e d...

  then, with gentleness,
without my blood running cold,
so the teeth of cold don’t bite too deep,
                  up my legs will climb~
            a step at a time,
  slow and steady~toward the top,
trusting my body to do the rest~
just pausing...
                                              to refuel my throat and tum,
sip from the hydration bladder,
and from my backpack, grub a hiking snack...

When at the peak~/
show me the bullet,
let me bite~

now too far for my feet to be cold,

       release the wings~~~
                                        let me f l y
             like an eagle~~~
                                    let me s o a r
far into the sky where no star gleams
  and no moon glows nor sun shines
where angels peep~and I can see them
          and the roars of lions are like    
                                     w h i s p e r s
         and thunderbolt shouts are dim,
where s i l e n c e is loud, yet never speaks
where lights are like shadows,
with f l i c k s brighter than the sun,
and fires that burn with no flame~"
                                     just pale blue s m o t h e r s ~
   in a womb so sullen and solemn.

Will I get friends among the a l i e n s,
if I fly~~~in a saucership, oxygen-filled,
  dinitrogen oxide~ to force a laugh,
to rise from where l o n e l i n e s s
     has thrown me:
        down in the dump;
            face like a wet weekend;
                just to have the blues;
what if the saucercraft c r a s h - l a n d e d ?
Will I be found~"still human~"
       like in
"There are Martians Among Us?"    

But wait...

are the lights on, and no one at home?
am I far away with the fairies?

If true,
then there is
a method
to this  

m a d n e s s.