Let Go or Go Nowhere

Let Go or Go Nowhere

A Poem by MacieLogan

    This road seemed longer
   than it usually did.
    The grip of her sweaty palms
on the cold black steering wheel
   was tighter now than it usually was.
  Her mind was reeling with thoughts of her life
   how it was, how it now is.

     The man in the passenger seat
   did not look impressed.
     He could feel what she felt,
   he put that feeling in her.
    Why had this turned so
           sour?
   It was all out of fun.
    Wasn't it?


    Just the simple fact
   that he was there
  right next to her
 with that stupid look,
that stupid face.
 

       She didn't dare say a word.
     If she did she knew it wouldn't end well.
       Or end period.
    They would talk about it forever.
    Just like they always did.
  Stuck on one trivial thought,
     for longer than what it felt to drive this road.

She hit the power switch on the wheel
  for the radio.
    The man with the voice radiating enthusiasm booming
and laughing through the speakers
   she scowled and hit the up arrow
       for the next station
   another advertisement
      this time one for a humane society
   the sad sappy music and sweet cunning voice
  asking for just a quarter a day
     She sighed and changed it again
   Now it was a song
      a country song
         one she knew well
             her mother liked this song
   her lips almost turned up before the man sat forward and switched it off
    her eyebrows drew down and together
      her finger tapped the wheel
   an exhalation of annoyance burned out of her throat

     He loved the feeling of this woman when she was angry
      like she was more beautiful when she was mad
    to know he meant enough to her to twist her
     to change her
       to make her feel
  Maybe it was too much this time
   But oh how he loved to drive her mad.
 Saying nothing at all seems to be more affective
    Why give her any more reason to yell.
    He would too.


 The more she thought about the words
   the ones they've said before
She thinks about the words that could
 be spoken now

 It's too late to talk like that

"You want the radio back on?"
"Just leave it."
      

  You can only pretend to hate someone
for so long
     before you finally do.

 
The guilt was the worst.
knowing he was addicted to hurting her
  knowing he loved to see her pain
    knowing just how to mend it for a few moments
   just to keep her hooked,
   just to make her stay.
 There was nothing he could say to her now
  without breaking her.


 At this point she can't even remember where they were going.
the road just kept moving.
  the broken white lines fly by faster than they should.
The water on the road reflected the the lights on the posts
 as they passed
The sky was of fire
  but neither of them would notice
  their minds elsewhere
 There was no room anymore to see beauty in things


 She could see only the road
   and the wipers moving in and out of her vision
 her gaze directed straight ahead
  with each droplet that streamed down the glass in front of her
 brought her to an even darker place
  as if her tears were falling down around them


He felt that too.
  She was too still.
He knew there was a storm in her.
 She let him make it.
He laid his head back and closed his eyes
  She let her foot get heavier on the accelerator
      This damn road needs to end
  He opened his eyes and glanced at her
just in time to watch her let go.
 



 
 

      




© 2014 MacieLogan


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Added on October 29, 2014
Last Updated on October 31, 2014