Compass Rose

A poem...

There is a tugging of fragile threads

stringing thoughts within my head

a fishing line for questions

pulling from my past

                       hard learned lessons.

 

I am afraid…

but this fear is covered behind

the worn stone mask of my mind

                        that I have made.

 

Afraid of death…

on fog-strewn streets on silent nights

with no one there to shed a light

              as I breathe my final breath.

 

I am weak…

but this weakness is covered

behind the star-painted mask of a lover

                    with eyes that always seek.

 

The face is cracking

from these porcelein masks

I once thought were stone.

Hinting at all that I’m lacking,

this thin veil could never last

I was bound to die alone.

 

The paint is faded,

the star-brushed constellations,

cold-spaced dead

                      and extinguished.

I have debated

against whether this is an indication

that these wishes in my head

                    should be relinquished.

 

I am drifting…

across the silent carcass of the ocean

but I am kept peaceful by the notion

                     that the currents are shifting.

 

I have found salvation,

because the slight cracking of this mask

has let me see at last,

                         those stars I once imagined

but never saw with my own eyes;

drifting on this open sea

there is hope in me

                           and reason left to try.

 

The guiding rose,

though she is distant and far away

has given me reason to pray

                       and more than pray

in the light of her glow.

 

In her light, I am not alone…

she guides me to safety

                                she guides me home…

Reviews

[Southern Cross]

Intense ,deep emotions that give way to hope. Nice transition from one emotion to the next .Despair to salvation ..and all in just a few stanzas. I'm sure the real journey was quite different and extremly grueling.

[Geon Quuin]

The structure is quite interesting, to say the least. The flow of the entire poem, on the other hand, is somewhat abrasive. The transition from stanza to stanza is not smooth either. The theme, however, is interesting.

In conclusion: Interesting structure. Have an interesting theme. The flow and the transition on the other hand, needs some polishing. Overall, it's a good poem.

[MachinaWriter]

a bit of an experiment, not my usual kind of thing. Thanks for taking the time to comment, though, and read it.

[Frieda P]

This is breathtaking, it flows so easily and draws you in from the very first line. I love...
'The paint is faded,
the star-brushed constellations,
cold-spaced dead
and extinguished.'
Beautiful read.

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it ^^ I appreciate you taking the time to read and leave a comment.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like the pondering, the floating in this...

would like to see the "fishing line" allusion be drawn upon more in the poem...carried throughout....but there is a feeling of being carried on some huge wave as this is read.

jacob

[MachinaWriter]

That's a good idea, I may go back when I get some time and see how to incorporate that more into this piece. Thanks for the read ^^

[Sirius King]

I am drifting…

across the silent carcass of the ocean

but I am kept peaceful by the notion

that the currents are shifting.

...Another great write man

[MachinaWriter]

Thanks, its good to hear from you again, man ^^

[kublakhan27]

This is an awesome poem, it deserves a lot more praise than what it's gotten...well done^^

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you for reading ^^

[kublakhan27]

No problem^^

[RachelReaper]

Sorry its taking me so long to review your writing again!!!! But this was so amazing, the ending was so heartfelt and sweet. Keep it up.

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you, its good to see your reviews again. I hope your holidays are going good ^^

[RachelReaper]

busy, but good, yes. And yours?

[MachinaWriter]

lol same ^^

[strangebrain]

'the silent carcass of the ocean' ah what a beautiful metaphor! you have written with such depth and passion that it is hard not to be totally absorbed in every line of the page. the subject matter is one that could easily fall victim to a lot of cliche but you delivered it in an intriguing and original way! good jon!

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you so much ^^ You give me more praise than I deserve, but thank you for the kind words.

[Starfruitanimal]

love this quote "The face is cracking
from these porcelein masks
I once thought were stone.
Hinting at all that I’m lacking,
this thin veil could never last
I was bound to die alone."..and the ending was great, nice job :)

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you again for taking the time to read. I was actually going to title the poem, originally, based off that stanza, but I already had one poem titled after Masks, so went with this title instead ^^

[Kelsey]

Once again, this is nothing short of beautiful. You have a way of painting such a beautiful picture with such careful and lovely words. Nicely done, my friend, but that's nothing new for you. x

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you, its good to see your reviews. Hope your holidays have been going good ^^