Never Wrote a Sonnet Before

Been writing poetry for a bit now, this is my first time ever using structured metre lol

 There is in me something I don’t understand

 that wishes for something more than myself.

 I don’t want to be that hollow, bitter man

 causing pain around me, destroying my health.

 But I am always fighting my carnal nature

 which seeks to devour those around me.

 How weak is this flesh, this I know for sure

 it is selfish and hungry for all it can see.

 But my soul, it is hungry for something more

 than these flesh-love desires and craving hunger.

 It wants your heart for all those things I adore

 how you make my soul pause, my mind wonder.

    You make me want more than your skin;

     it’s your soul I desire, it saves me within.

Author's Note

Never wrote a sonnet before. Actually, never wrote anything that has structured rhythm and rhyme before. So, this was really just for fun and practice. Not really my kind of thing lol

Reviews

[Baby Ricochet]

Carnal delights are the best sin

[MachinaWriter]

lol but transitory

[KAOlmsted]

This makes me go..."whoa"...because I have always been this sort of...physical person; someone who says "If I can't feel it with my flesh it doesn't exist..." Love? Emotions? C'mon... I don't have a sentimental bone in my body...I am, as you say: "always fighting my carnal nature, which seeks to devour those around me." I love those words, because they define...a person like me. That you seek redemption at the end of this piece is you...and I like that about you. Me? I'll stick to fighting ;-) It's way more fun than settling.

Excellent write.

-kimmer

[MachinaWriter]

That's the way we all are. We're hungry people. But we live our lives physically, from the day we're born. But we're still hungry. There has to be something else, or we'll just keep swinging and fighting and devouring and never be full, until we devour everything around us, and then ourselves. I want more than that. I want to be full in soul. But, I'm a romantic lol So, that might just be me. I'm glad you liked the poem. Especially considering I don't do sonnets. Not my style lol

[KAOlmsted]

I have never been a romantic, all swooning hearts and gasping breath, it's just not me...but I get a twisted satisfaction out of reading romantic poetry...Maybe read My Soul Bleeds For Thee by...me? ;-)

[MachinaWriter]

I'll check it out. Sounds twisted lol

[KAOlmsted]

;-)

[Kelsey]

You never fail to blow me away with your openness to different styles. You do everything so beautifully, so elegantly. Even something that you may feel is out of your reach, I feel is still done so nicely. I'm impressed, once again. Nicely done. x

[MachinaWriter]

Yeah, not a big fan of sonnets. I think I prefer to let the poem go where it wants, on its own. But, I don't discredit the value of these kinds of poems. I think they're good for practice and training our minds to develop its own metre and sense of rhyme and rhythm. I'd recommend it to someone now that I've tried this myself.

[Damien Davison]

I totally relate to everything but the last part about wanting the woman. I don't even know what I want myself, just more and right now! lol. Nice job man I really enjoyed it.

[MachinaWriter]

lol Most people don't know what they want, so don't worry too much. That part takes time. Its very freeing, though, when you figure it out. Suddenly all the other things don't matter or worry you as much. Things seem easier. Sorry, I rambled there. I get caught up sometimes, thinking about that. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem, man. Not really a sonnet person, so this was mainly just for fun.

[Damien Davison]

Haha no worries bro, I don't mind your rambling, I don't consider it rambling, just a part of the conversation that needed to be said! Take care bro.

[Southern Cross]

Fun and practice LOL...Pretty intense for that.
" It wants your heart for all those things I adore
how you make my soul pause, my mind wonder.
You make me want more than your skin;
it’s your soul I desire, it saves me within." What a beautiful emotion expressed here. The rhyme is spotless and the content elevates it beyond the written page.