Painted Skies

Painted Skies

A Poem by MachinaWriter
"

There is a green field, / painted behind my eyes... / and I must simply close them / to see those starry skies...

"

The coffee stain, smeared across

this glossy-finished tabletop

like a waterstain- painted, drawn;

catches my eye,

as it always does,

during the early hours of dawn.

 

It seizes my train of thought,

a temporary stop,

screeching, pistons ceasing

as I think to the other stains

                that still aren’t gone.

 

Like the stain of disdain

I have for all the things

I still have yet to gain.

This cigarette,

burnt out from neglect,

rests between my fingertips

as I sip upon the same

early morning coffee,

I drink at the start of every day.

 

And I think,

I lack heart in the things I say,

constantly scratching away

at a leatherbound book,

as I look

                for meaning in this life.

 

I’ve been dreaming of things,

my tongue can’t speak;

of green fields

            starry skies

and snowy mountain peaks.

And of something else,

                        I really seek…

someone whispering in my ear,

taking away my fears;

making me feel weak

                            and strong.

who makes days short

               and moments long.

 

I rest my coffee cup

upon that stain and lift my head

looking up

                 at my window instead;

I stop and see the first light

over the rooftops,

                      breaking away the night

as I imagine you rising out of bed.

 

And I seek sleep,

because deep in those dreams

everything seems…

                               …better.

Not an escape.

A time to envision

and help with the decision

to break away the tape

around this crime scene

that used to be my dreams…

                …but not any longer.

 

Because…

               there is a green field,

painted behind my eyes…

and I must simply close them

to see those starry skies,

where you and I

lay side by side,

upon beds of grass…

I know eventually I’ll meet you there,

                    old friends, embraced at last…

 

And with you I’ll lie down

               in those green pastures

forgetting past years

                          and past hurts…

 

There is for once solemnity

                                  in my soul…

and this sin in me,

which burns like coals

is starved in the waters of your sea…

 

And I wish to thank you,

for your sacrosanct heart.

It is a shrine in the eyes

                      of my departing mind…

 

To me, you are sacred;

and I wish to rid

myself of the fears

that put a lid upon my heart,

                     ready to burst…

Because you quench the thirst

of my soul,

in you, I finally live…

and I know,

            you deserve all I can give.

 

Because I find strength in all our talks.

And through them I would walk,

through that darkest valley,

in the alley between hopelessness

and despair…

For even there,

            you rally the courage in me;

you give me reason to be

                          a better man.

To stand…

                  …when I once would lay.

 

You have brought me a soul

of solemnity…

And given me a mind

                          of serenity…

I now have a heart longing for love

 just saying “Let it be! Let it be!”

 

So I look upon that coffee stain,

and give a little smile.

In a short while,

we’ll talk again

and I’ll be greeted

by the hope you send

           in every little message…

I watch the last vestige

of night fade away to day…

                       the sun is free…

I think of you

and I think of me

then I think of the stain....

         and decide to let it be,

  let it be…

© 2012 MachinaWriter


My Review

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Featured Review

Beautiful word choice throughout - I love the "let it be,/let it be..." at the end - what a great sentiment to leave on. Also very visual - the coffee stain, such an everyday thing, so ugly, yet you siphon a beautiful thought out of it. I love that this doesn't have a rigid rhyme scheme - I think that makes it really interesting and groups/organizes thoughts appropriately. I can feel the longing and the devotion in this... and also an "other-worldly" feeling (for lack of a better term). You began with a very tangible, earthly image and lead me into another, more peaceful place. The thought I'm left with is not that anything is perfect, but that to "let it be" is best. Very moving. Great job.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MachinaWriter

12 Years Ago

Thank you, that truly means a lot. My rhyme scheme has changed quite a lot since I first joined this.. read more



Reviews

wow, just wow. that was quite powerful. im not sure theres anything you didnt do right here. great flow, imagery, word choice, i could go on and on. incredible journey you have taken me on sir. very much enjoyed

Posted 11 Years Ago


MachinaWriter

11 Years Ago

Thank you ^^ Feel free to take a look at some of my other works. This one is a personal favorite of .. read more
What a powerful poem, wrapped nicely in great grammar, style, format, intense imagery, fantastic flow, and overall a wondrous journey! well done!

Posted 11 Years Ago


MachinaWriter

11 Years Ago

Thank you ^^ That truly means a lot, and that's a wonderful review. I'm just glad that you enjoyed i.. read more
Natasha

11 Years Ago

you are defiantly welcome!! :)
"like the stain of disdain" nicely put. i love the ending . your poetry is awesome

Posted 11 Years Ago


MachinaWriter

11 Years Ago

Thank you ^^ I'm glad you enjoyed it.
amazing! so eloquent you left nothion undone.

Posted 11 Years Ago


a complete work.you flirt with doubts and desolation,court dreams for sometime and finally wed the reality with a hope you know you can change into reality.from the tangible to the metaphysical,use of stain was a wonderful idea.you assuage your fears,you bring the term perfection to some modesty and embrace what is real without regrets.it's not giving up but more like raging that tempest which ails us always due to our obsession with making life perfect.life never is and learning to love with all its imperfections is the best thing to do- a brilliant message.depiction of an emotional odyssey,it's just beautiful.reminds me of a story which ends somewhat like this-
it was million miles away from her dream.it was even better.it was REAL.

i am so taken with the meaning that i ignored the words in my first read.but again many are exceptional,so can't point them all out.this one felt classic-
days short,moments long.
really,from the mundane to an ethereal take on these things.i must say one thing,i have never seen anyone explore the word coffee as you do lol.
magnificent job.

Posted 12 Years Ago


MachinaWriter

12 Years Ago

I do seem to talk about coffee alot in my poems. I even have one, similar to this, that you would pr.. read more
Beautiful word choice throughout - I love the "let it be,/let it be..." at the end - what a great sentiment to leave on. Also very visual - the coffee stain, such an everyday thing, so ugly, yet you siphon a beautiful thought out of it. I love that this doesn't have a rigid rhyme scheme - I think that makes it really interesting and groups/organizes thoughts appropriately. I can feel the longing and the devotion in this... and also an "other-worldly" feeling (for lack of a better term). You began with a very tangible, earthly image and lead me into another, more peaceful place. The thought I'm left with is not that anything is perfect, but that to "let it be" is best. Very moving. Great job.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MachinaWriter

12 Years Ago

Thank you, that truly means a lot. My rhyme scheme has changed quite a lot since I first joined this.. read more
Once again, a piece that's nothing short of beautiful. I can't help but wonder how you combine everything, make it all seem to go together, without overdoing it. Very lovely piece that paints a beautiful image. As always, I enjoyed. x

Posted 12 Years Ago


MachinaWriter

12 Years Ago

I'm constantly writing. Trying new things. Reading through it when I'm done to see if it flows right.. read more
This is really awesome; there were so many lines that made me smile with their wonderful construction that there are actually too many to point out, but I've got to mention the whole of stanza 5 :D I love how all these beautiful and deep musings come from the plain inspiration of a coffee stain, how such things can ignite the above... How the poem becomes more and more intricate and extra ordinary, distanced from its beginning in the 'everyday'. I also love the idea of the field 'painted behind my eyes'. I don't really see anything that could improve it - I love it; thank you for sharing - I think you speak for a lot of people with this piece :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


MachinaWriter

12 Years Ago

I try and get the opinions of people who I see have actually "studied" English lol To check all the .. read more
Words escape me when trying to review this work. It creates such a vivid picture in the reader's mind. You are a very talented individual and once again your voice is absolutely enthralling. I am always captivated by your efforts.

One thing you may consider revising (just a suggestion) :

"A coffee stain, smeared across
the top of the tabletop,"

I find the "top of the tabletop" muzzles the beauty of the text. I'm very easily thrown off from reading though, so it may just be my own opinion. You have much greater diction than this line depicts.

Posted 12 Years Ago


MachinaWriter

12 Years Ago

Yeah, I agree. Thanks for taking the time to point those out, those are the kind of reviews I look f.. read more
Sacha Davison

12 Years Ago

Absolutely no problem, friend. I thrive off of the same style of reviews. I'll be sure to check out .. read more
MachinaWriter

12 Years Ago

Sounds good, man. Thanks a lot. I'm working on another poem, at the moment, anyways. Can't wait to h.. read more
absolutely phenomenal! you had me enticed with every beautiful line. the fifth stanza especially seemed to resonate within me a lot, and it is really quite lovely when you find a poem that helps you understand a little part of yourself which you previously hadn't.

Posted 12 Years Ago


MachinaWriter

12 Years Ago

Thank you, that truly means a lot ^^ This was a product of my muse's endearing inspiration and a lar.. read more

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27 Reviews
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Shelved in 8 Libraries
Added on November 23, 2012
Last Updated on November 27, 2012

Author

MachinaWriter
MachinaWriter

Springfield, IL



About
My original passion has always been in writing stories. Most of them were fantasy stories, because I always wanted to escape. That's what it was. An escape from the troubles of life. Joining this site.. more..

Writing

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