Take Another Shot

The seventh poem in my compilation, A Tragic Story...

I don’t exist, 

-my nights consist

Of walking like a ghost

-Empty and hollow

And this whiskey that I swallow

Uses it like a host

 

What I’m consuming

Only consumes me

And soon it will devour

All my power, and every ounce of strength

But I’ll go to every length

I’ll lie, I’ll cheat, I’ll steal

Anything to not feel,

What’s rotting me from within

I already made the devil’s deal

And I can’t make it again

 

Lights, sounds, an unfamiliar place

Blend amidst the rising mist

Of another unknown face

Clouding up her eyes

My head spins, I think again

If only I could rise

Before she woke, I’d leave a note

And not have to see her cry

 

Because every morning

When I see the newest face

And see a smile forming

Upon her lips, I can’t forget

The one who still had a grip

 -Upon my heart, and every part

Of my body begins to shake

I stand up, grab my cup

My ritual when I wake

 

Pretty soon, I’ll leave the room

And have broken another heart

At eight AM, I’m drunk again

And that’s just the start

 

My life spins within

-a haze, of drunken days

With whiskey and vicodin

Sex, pills, and cheap thrills

-late nights and cigarettes

With pretty girls who wish we never met

I once did pour a bottle down the drain

A cocktail straight from hell

I must have gone insane

With whiskey, ecstasy and vicodin

-I watched it start to spin

But I’ll tell the truth, why lie to you?

The drain was actually within

 

Did you truly think

I’d flush it down the sink?

I’m a mess, I will confess

I probably need a shrink.

 

But I know my problems,

I just never solve them

I’d rather block them out

With enough to drink, I won’t have to think

Or hear my conscience shout

 

How I hurt the world, or another girl

Because I can’t stop the pain

I feel inside, so to try and hide

That I’m really going insane

-And my brains about to rot

I take the pills, so not to feel

And swallow them with another shot

Author's Note

In this addition to my story, I've become bitter to the world, uncaring about who I hurt. I've posted this before, but its now here in chronological order, so let me know what you think of it in the context of the rest of the story.

Reviews

[Southern Cross]

I have reached the bowels of Hell ...at least that is where you have taken me on this roller coaster ride..Damn you can write

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you. It felt like hell. One of my own devising. Only I knew how to hurt myself the most.

[Sirius King]

I once did pour a bottle down the drain

A cocktail straight from hell

I must have gone insane


With whiskey, ecstasy and vicodin

-I watched it start to spin

But I’ll tell the truth, why lie to you?

The drain was actually within

nice!

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you ^^ My fiance read this and that was her favorite line, as well. She started crying, because a lot of this she didn't really know. I mean, she knew *about* it, but not the real way it felt. Thanks for reading this.

[Sirius King]

its a hard thing to read, but u wrote it well

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you. That means a lot. I just noticed that two of my poems are now at the top of the Popular Writing section of this site. Dear Mother and I'm Okay, right next to each other. I haven't had any poems show up there before, so that's cool and it feels pretty good, even though its just on this website. I had to mention it because I just saw it lol

[Sirius King]

thats what up man, u have a voice...it should be heard!