Dear Mother

The first poem in my compilation, A Tragic Story...

Dear mother,

Do you ever wonder?

If you could have stopped the storm,

If you'd heard the thunder?

 

Or did it come as suddenly,

For you as it did for me?

One day living well,

The next day in living hell.

 

I was too young to comprehend,

But old enough to know

That things would never be the same

With where we were about to go.

 

You called it a house

But it was barely a shack

S**t, if that.

The rooms piled high with junk in a stack

From the caved-in floor, to the ceiling that was cracked

Within seconds there

I didn’t care

I wanted to go back

 

But dear mother, you were more worried about another

-Problem, you couldn’t solve ‘em

Much less take care of me, my sister, and my brother

 

You think we didn’t notice

I’ll tell you that I did

And as much as I tried, denied, and lied

It was only myself that I kid.

 

We never went to school, we never left the place

And though you were always there, I rarely saw your face

Hidden away, every day, was it from it disgrace?

Or because you saw your son dying

-inside, from constantly lying

Trying, to keep your image in his mind

Of the way you were, long before

Before it stained from all the grime

 

Dear mother, did you know I could barely sleep?

For days on end, I would spend, my time counting sheep

But too afraid, to let my conscience fade

People walking in and out

Every night,

knocking on the door I heard them shout:

“Hey let us in, we’re a friend,

your mother said its fine.”

I’d pretend to sleep, but my heart would beat

And look at the time.

 

Three in the morning, and without any warning

They’d start to pound again.

Eventually, you’d wake to see, and let the people in.

 

I remember the smell, like burnt cellophane

But I’d say it wasn’t you, just because the others do

Doesn’t mean you play the game.

But I was lying to myself,

-to keep your image in health

And honestly, it was driving me insane.

 

Dear mother, do you remember the day?

Uncle Sam, he came with a plan

To make everything okay?

We’d move with him, start again

And head out to Texas

I clung to hope, and quickly spoke

I must have seemed restless

 

I probably was, but it’s all because

I wanted out of there

Another State, it sounded great

It could have been anywhere

-I didn’t care.

 

I packed my bags, dressed in dirty rags

Just me and my brother

We left with him, right there and then

You said you’d come on another,

-Day, another way,

My sister and my mother

 

The weeks passed, and then at last

I received that fateful call

You’d been arrested, my lies were tested

My excuses began to fall.

 

I had to come to terms

With all the lies and worms

That had been nesting in my thoughts

It was true, what they said of you

-It was drugs that you’d bought

With the money that you cashed

By selling our childhood

It faded far too fast,

-we were robbed of what was good

But I guess it was never meant to last

I guess it never could.

Author's Note

The beginning of all the problems in my life, figured I should start it all off here. Let me know what you guys think. As always, criticism welcome ^^

Reviews

[eglantine]

oh, ok now I know how I missed this, I had so many read requests I just focused on the 'poetry' and this was labeld as a chapter or book or something.

Hm, you're taking a kind of Ellen Hopkins/The Bean Tree type approach. I like it! Great idea.

Way to start it off with a roar too. Great, powerfully emotional piece. Give us a lil' bit of a description of the mom and the uncle. Great opp for some amazing images :)

[MachinaWriter]

Yeah, I was thinking of doing that. Its pretty much an autobiography in the form of poetry, so I was mainly just trying to get the emotion and the basis out first. But that's definitely a good idea, I'll give a little more description on my mom and uncle. As always, your advice is always helpful ^^

[GMHeft]

helluva life. and I find I want to continue reading more... just 20 eh? *smiles*

[MachinaWriter]

Yeah lol My fiance jokes that I sometimes act like an old man and she's 28 lol. I tell her its because I'm just tired out by now lol If you read more, make sure to leave a comment and let me know what you think.

[GMHeft]

I will indeed!

[Kelsey]

I can relate to this in so many ways. I'm so sorry you can, too. Amazing piece.

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you. I really appreciate that, and I feel for you.

[Kelsey]

Same to you, my friend.

[Apatheia]

I can relate almost too much to this. Very well wrote (written?). :)

[MachinaWriter]

Written lol. Written is how something was done. Wrote is the past tense version of the verb to write. He wrote that book. But it was written by him. lol

Thank you for reading it. I figured I should start at the beginning of all my problems and that was it. I can boil every mistake I made to everything that happened here. I'm glad you liked it. That means a lot, and I feel for you if you had to go through something like this. Its tough.

[Apatheia]

Thank you for explaining that to me. >< I'm sorry you had to go through something like that as well.