Behind Shut Shutters

A poem...

I close the shutters

My mind trails to those two brothers

Cane and Abel, where one killed the other

I shake my head

Trying to look anywhere- just not the bed

 

I fall down in the chair-

Think, think, think

Further in the cushion I sink

My stained fingers find a spark-

To light the cigarette- in the dark

 

What should I do?

I don’t know! F**k, where would I go?

I try to formulate

-some sense of logic

As my mind debates

Illogically, pressing me

For answers

 

But I have none

How can I?

I stare at the gun

My mind’s still on standby

 

I still can’t believe it

I’m frozen in this chair

Like a f*****g paraplegic

Thinking while I'm there,

Maybe I should leave it?

 

No, it won’t work

They saw me coming in

Someone will remember

Place the face, the time, the date

I’ve seen CSI, I know this case

 

Maybe I could bury it?

No body, no crime

But how to carry it?

S**t, I can’t even stare at it

 

Much less pull it from the sheets

Where it’s laying there, silently

Amidst the blood, I so violently

Shed, from the top of its head, in splattered art upon the bed

Even after they were surely dead

 

But they definitely deserved it…

I try to rationalize

While still trying to decide

Upon a method, where I could hide

Not a body,

-a mannequin

If I have to move it, I can at least pretend

 

Listen to you now…

You killed them first in flesh

But now even their humanity,

The only thing that’s left

You’ll kill that too, you’re such a fucked up mess

 

Stop.

I need to think, my time is running low

The shot was loud, the cops were called

Hell, they probably already know

Your name, your face

Come tomorrow, you’ll be disgraced

Any bit of good, you ever did or would

Will be dismissed without a trace

 

I shake

And my body trembles

Looking now, I’ve been tracing symbols

With the blood, upon the window

Just a few words, I knew would come

Then with shaking hands, I pick up the gun

 

And with one last drag, of my cigarette

The barrel to my head

I couldn’t have lived, anyways- with all this regret

The symbols spelled, upon the glass

I know now, will be my last

And with the gunblast, blood is splashed

 

Across the window,

-like something from a movie

Next to the symbols:

"That’ll teach him to screw me."

Author's Note

Another kinda random thing I typed up. This turned into something totally different than what I was going for in the beginning. Like, not even in the same ball park, but whatever lol Its really, very morbid, but has a strange irony to it, especially at the end. Almost darkly humorous, which is odd to me. I don't know. Tell me what you think. I was really just screwing around on this one.

Reviews

[MissEpic2902]

Whoa!! This is really cool!! sorry it took so long I've had a lot on my mind!!

[MachinaWriter]

lol No problem. These are bringing back memories reading now haha Its interesting looking back at old poetry. Thanks for the kind reviews ^^

[MissEpic2902]

No problem!! anytime!!

[Southern Cross]

You even use cursing like a pro and never offensive. As always , you take the reader on this high tension roller coaster ride with you ..up, down and sideways..I always see your poems worked on stage by some cool as crap rapper and the beat so heavy and intense.

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you ^^ Yeah, I tend not to edit my work too much. I cuss, usually just when I'm angry or really upset, so it tends to find its way into many of my poems. You should read my poem I Say lol It makes this poem seem kid friendly haha

[Hester Vane]

This piece has a fantastic narrative told through brilliant poetic flare! I get the darkly humours side, its great! It takes skill to get that right

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you. I was really just messing around when I wrote this one, so I was pleasantly surprised with the way it turned out.

[Craba]

Wow quite deep and personal, I enjoyed reading this

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I have plenty of other poems, so feel free to give them a look and let me know what you think. I really enjoyed writing this one, as it was more of me just playing around than most of my other ones. Somehow it still turned into something serious, though xD Some people have told me its kinda sad. I thought it was ironic, but maybe that's just me lol Anyways, thank you for taking the time to read this and leave a comment, I really appreciate it ^^

[Kenaz]

I wouldn't call this screwing around. Yet again I'm impressed. Nice job.

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you. I say I was screwing around simply because I had a totally different direction in mind for this when I started and it kinda turned into something completely off what I intended. lol I'm glad you liked it though ^^

[Kenaz]

Yeah. You deserve to be published, man.

[MachinaWriter]

Never thought about it. Until I joined this site about two weeks ago I've never really written poetry before. I rapped at a few freestyle competitions lol Closest thing to poetry I've done since middle school ^^

[Kenaz]

Haha, well a good rapper technically is a poet. Keep it going.

[JodieH]

Incredible!! I LOVE IT! It is so true and incredibly powerful.

[MachinaWriter]

Thanks ^^ I'm glad you liked it. I've been on a kick lately of doing stories in the form of poetry.

[Kelsey]

This is just, amazing. I wish you would turn more of your poems into short stories, I can't imagine where they'd go. Your imagination is so fascinating.

[b.platte]

Damn.

In the beginning I was feeling sorry for the person. Then I was like, oh s**t they killed somebody. So, I thought they deserved to be struggling with something. But then in the end I'm wondering how much either characters deserved to die.

Good job with that. I especially like the part focusing on the fact that with this one act would erase any good deed they ever did. I've never thought about that before. And I loved this:

'Maybe I could bury it?
No body, no crime
But how to carry it?
S**t, I can’t even stare at it'

That flowed so well. The whole thing was incredibly easy to read, but this was my favorite part.

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you. Yeah, I wanted to hold back right away with the fact that they killed someone. So that it was hinted at a bit first and then you were like "Oh, s**t..." lol So it was fun to write. I honestly didn't even realize myself that he killed someone until about the second stanza. Caught me by surprise, too ^^

[b.platte]

Don't you love it when that happens? When the story seems to write itself... so awesome. :)

[MachinaWriter]

100% ^^ Someone asked what caused him to kill the other guy and I had to reply that I had no idea. He didn't tell me lol

[MachinaWriter]

But anyways, I have another poem up, too. Just wrote it. Let me know what you think ^^

[eglantine]

oh wow. It is always facisnating to put down the pen or lift your fingers off the keyboard to see what your poem turned itself into. It's great you are able to let it contort into what it needs to be, rather then try to force it.

I love how you didn't rush this. It was very well paced. I suppose the only thing I have to suggest is what caused the speaker to murder?

[MachinaWriter]

I honestly have no idea why he killed the guy. He didn't tell me.

[Apatheia]

This is so good. Another one of your poems that paint a picturw in my head. I love all thr description. Thank you for sharing. :)

[MachinaWriter]

Yeah, this was kind of fun. Trying to catch his mentality. Thanks for reading it ^^