3 words, 9 letters, second to love

"I trust you." Has a little moral to be learned.

I trust her.

When my words of "I love you" can't reach her ears, and are smashed by her lead-laden words of self-destruction, I tell her I trust her. Because when she becomes like this, the ball is no longer in my park. But it's not blind faith, trust and faith are different.

Trust is built from a bit of faith that was rewarded and dread is built from a lot of faith that was betrayed. I trust her, because everytime we've come to a crossroads, everytime she's come to great turmoil in her life: "we" have survived. Sometimes my words aren't enough. And she must do things on her own. But I'll never forget her telling me she was mad at me because i'm "always f*****g right".

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I stare out the window through a crack in the blinds. Mummuring "I trust you" over and over again. The glass too fogged from the steam bath to see through properly. "All I can do is wait" my mind says "for her to be ready." Finishing the sentence. I know everythings gonna be alright as I splash my face with the far too hot water: trading my face of contorted concern for a wince in pain, if only for a second.

I failed her once. I failed to be there, and by luck alone did she survive. I still blame myself for that, even if she doesn't. She thought I was mad at her over her attempt at suicide. I think she forgets that I love her. That, or she's forgotten what love is.

The lesson I want to convey is that when you love someone in distress, all you can do is give them your words, your comfort, your knowledge that everything'll be alright. And after you do all that, trust them. What is the point of loving them if you can't trust them to do the right thing? No matter how taxing it is. I know I didn't fall in love with a fool.