My Dark Existence

The moonrise calls to me,
Singing its ancient, cosmic song
Which resonates within my body
Bringing agaony and ecstacy
Woven together in a fashion
No mortal could ever understand.
Slowly I stretch forth from my grave
Saddened to live once again.
Alone, I stand, confused and in agony,
Hungry for the life that I once knew
But will never know again.
I scan the land that surrounds me
Searching for the b*****d which spawned me,
Breathing life into this tenebrous soul.
My lips move silently, instinctually,
Praying to a preoccupied God
That I may find him and destroy him
As he has destroyed me.
Wishing, not for the last time,
That he had left me dead and rotting
On the gurney when I was wheeled in.
Damn him!
For the first time in my life I felt peace.
But that dark god would not be satisfied.
His dark gift has become my curse.
His life, my eternal hell.
There is no salvation for the soul
That is desperately desirous of death.
Every ray of sunshine illuminates my sins,
Burning the remnants of my soul,
Torturing the minute residue of humanity
That remains within me.
Every mirrored reflection
Reveals the true depth of my iniquity,
Reminding me of my worthlessness.
Making me long savagely for that death
Which has been denied to me,
Forever replaced by a life that is not life
An eternal hell that shall never understand
The reprieve that only death can bring.
Tired of the wearisome ways of man
Living their individual lies
When the truth is plain to see,
I wish that I could leave this place
To find the peace of oblivion:
To drift away, like the flotsam I am,
On some universal sea.
But that is fodder for another time.
Tonight the moonlight calls my name
Exciting my primal bloodlust.
Tonight, it is time to feed.

Hamish McIndlister