I Know

I knew that it was fading when you said the first “I know.” You were slowly breaking my heart for what felt like ages. You made sorry excuses for feelings you couldn't understand. Break. We hardly spoke, and when we did it was nothing but awkward hellos and goodnights. I knew it was over, it was over for a long time coming. Its like driving down a dirt path, feeling every bump and rock beneath us. You get out of the car to get a better look and keep walking and you keep going, and I stand here out of breath, out of hope that the road would appear again as you walk into the distance. I gave out bits and pieces of myself to many different people, Every time being left with a little less of myself than before. Except this time I gave away my innocence, that last piece I had left of myself is yours now and I can’t take it back, I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take back the “I love you’s” that didn’t mean half as much as the ones that meant the world. You don’t resemble the snapshot of the man I fell in love with. You were so happy and I watched it drain from your body and leave your soul lifeless. No excitement, no random gestures, no love. I know you loved me because you said it and you wrote it down. Yesterday you didnt want to do what you wanted to because you loved me. And that was the last I know I could take. I need you to know what you need and what you want and I need you to be happy. Because I cant stand by this car and wait so I will let you go. And I will walk down the dark tear lit mountain alone, and maybe if I’m lucky I’ll see you at the bottom. And you’ll tell me you love me too.