My Angel Nostalgia Part #1

Talks about an experience of a great love turned to ashes...

Deep down the sorrow, I saw her, with a broken wing, Unceasing tear on her soft cheeks. She noticed me .. washed her face from a tears river. She held my hand softly and said "I know you'll be back". I laid down and kissed her hands. shyness filled her face, I haven't ever seen a face so shy before.

I asked her "why are you here?" she looked at her wing with total depressive. I moved to fix it she screamed "DON'T". I asked "Why?!" she said "if you tried to I'll get hurt and if you fix it I can't either fly. I wanted to ask why again but in the time that I opened my mouth wanted to .. I heard A big harsh scream. She looked at a dark side like she used about it, and I saw big red eyes and a shadow of a big beast coming toward us. I stood in front of her for her protection and said "GET BACK" to the beast. She walked in front of me, I looked at her weird and afraid .. she said "that's the answer of your unspoken question, It's my fate". I asked her to trust me that I can get her out of here ... she said "Don't hang up on me, I'm useless .. I"M NOTHING". I said "You always trusted me but never trusted my word" and tried to have an expectation about what happened to her "I'm different than everything made you be here". She answered "Do you think I don't know ... then you wouldn't be here if not in the first place".

I stood in front of her laid my face on her head. I kissed her and said "you said that you're nothing .. you must know that you're everything to me". She looked deeply in my eyes with her eyes filled with tears "I don't believe that" I said "you made me realize that you are different, and here I am with you. Don't you think I'm Different too?!"

She looked away I kissed her again. She turned around and walked to the river set beside it again and start falling some tears again. I tried to walk to her spot but couldn't move. like something is holding me. I looked behind me I saw her fate who's holding me .. I asked her help ............. No response .. and her tears started to increase falling ... I stood hopeless and said "you're the only one who can help me .. to help you get out of this" ... She knocked her head saying "You still don't understand".

Reviews

[YouoweYoupay]

Beautiful. Tragic. And very dramatic. The passage you wrote shows that you are a writer hungry for inspiration, and your thoughts are loaded with imagination and sensitivity. I enjoyed reading it, ignoring the grammar and spelling mistakes. Theres ALOT of that, lel 2asaf. And because we come from the same Earth and share a common language, I managed to slide past those unclear sentences and luckily understood the essence of your story. I would like to resend you an edited version of this story in a few days. Meanings and events will stay unchanged. I will just work on clearing the language mistakes in between the lines. You might also want to improve your writing and language skills through reading, listening/ or watching TV (without Arabic subtitles) or more writing. Good Luck. Salam.

[/~The-Giant-Martyr~]

um ... Thanks :) ... that's a kind of you doing that ... and yea I need to work on my language ... and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it ... Salam.