Her story

"The scars will never go away," I tell her. She doesn't listen. "What if you cut too deep?" She doesn't respond. She just sits there, crying.

Flash back to the 4th grade. That's when we met. She was sitting by herself across the room, reading The Time Machine. Some dumb kid went up to her and took it from her hands. She didn't move, just said something, asked for it back, probably. The kid didn't give it to her. I decided to step in. I asked the kid what he was doing with that book. He said he was just giving it back. "Ha, you better give it back," I thought. She said, "Thanks." I asked her what her name was. She said, "Kaity." I told her my name and we started talking. That was a great day.

I know how she feels right now. I've felt how she does. I know what it's like. Maybe if I had told her that, she wouldn't be in this position. But I didn't tell her and I can't now. I can't tell anyone.

Flashback to the summer before 7th grade. We were both so excited for middle school. Kaity was most excited for a particular class she signed up for. It was called Real Life Science Fiction. To me, it sounded terribly boring but it was just right for her. She's always wanted to build the first time machine. That was her number one goal. Whenever she told me that, I would laugh and she would too but I knew she really wanted to build one and believed she could. I always thought that if anyone could do it, it'd be her.

There are some things that can't ever come out. I'll just keep my secrets locked up inside because that's all I can do. I'll pretend like I actually think she can stop; like it should be easy. I know it's not. I know because I couldn't. I couldn't stop.

Flash back to 9th grade. Our first year of high school. We were both excited and terribly nervous. This was the year that everything collapsed. It started off well enough but went straight downhill, with no breaks for even gasps of air. I was drowning and I didn't even tell my best friend. The bullying, which diminished my self image, was tearing me apart. I tried not to let it get to me but that wasn't a conscious decision I could make. It just happened. And then I always felt like crap. No matter what, I couldn't stop feeling those horrid feelings. I would do anything to make them go away.

And now I can't help her. She will always ignore me because she can't hear my pleas. She won't ever listen. We live in different worlds now. Worlds that are separated. She'll never answer me again because I am dead. I couldn't take it any more. I gave in. I was a fool. She won't do that. I know her. She is stronger than I ever was. She can make it. "We'll be together soon enough, Kaity. Take your time. Hey, and maybe after you make that time machine, you could come back for me and prevent us both a world of hurt. Yeah, that would be nice. Very nice."

Reviews

[Jacob Clifford]

Oh my god, this is just.... I don't even know what to say. This is so relatable, and so heartbreaking. Seeing someone you love slowly deteriorating and not being able to do anything about it. . . That's a little piece of Hell. And there's always the question of "What if?" What if I said something, what if I tried one more time, what if what if what if.
Technically, this was very well done. I love the life you breathed into Kaity. The regret and grief was so thick a knife could cut it.
Just, great work with this. Truly.

[Morgan Yai]

Thank you so much!