Right Now Tastes Bad Sometimes

Anxiety & Depression

Right Now Tastes Bad Sometimes

 

Spinning and breathing just to breathe again.

 

Red tint...

 

Behind my closed eyes...

 

Paralyzed.

 

I am ever so awake when I am sleep.

So conscious I fight for my life.

I smash through hordes of Turk warriors and whirling dervishes.

Glinting swords with blood grooves whistle and move my way.

I bend and pray.

 

I'm awake.

 

At least I thought I was until I saw the kaleidoscope patterned bird fly by...

Slowly melting into a gray cloud who finds it important enough to dive...

Directly at my naked, prone and shamed body.

 

I see its teeth, jagged and murky.

I set myself for death once again.

Hoping to drift away.

 

When did clouds have teeth?

 

Wait...

 

I'm awake.

 

In class and still that kid who falls asleep in the furthest most desk.

The same tattered green Nike snap pants over hot stuff boxers.

Fifteen again with Salvation Army shoes...

 

I cringe...

 

Even when the words speak my language.

The teacher places her hands on my shoulders.

Her gravid burdens snap and instantly shatter my collarbone...

Sending shards of Vitamin D enforced matter into my heart and lungs.

 

I loved whole milk and captain crunch after school.

 

Now it makes my stomach ache.

 

I'm Awake.

 

I jerk out from under the covers and instantly regret my movement.

She is still talking about the bathroom set and the matching towels.

How her mom stole seven dollars from under the couch cushion.

 

 I wish I could sleep this taste right out of my mouth.

Reviews

[Holly Mason]

just took an emotional trip right by your side
so much emotion in this truly
love the last line-what an image you bring
love that title and with your content to back it up just great
thank you for sharing