The Girl in the White Dress

A Story by LoveAlways

a college student walks to his usual diner to have dessert where he unexpectedly meets a beautiful woman.

It was already half past twelve on a Monday night. I walked down the deserted street lit only by the dim and hazy streetlights. I could barely make out the faint neon glow of Alice’s Diner through the foggy air of the night. These days were very common in Allen, Florida, a very small town in the Far East corner of the irregular state. Most days I would walk early to the diner at around seven to have my night’s dessert but, tonight, something urged me to wait a little longer. My pounds of homework and tests I had in the morning also forced me to come a little late but my classes did not start until eleven in the morning so my nights were usually long. A few moments of walking past as I finally made it to the large rusted doors of the Diner. I pulled the handle and swung open the doors and I strode in, a gust of cool air hit my face and caused me to shiver. I pulled my soft jacked tighter around me as I walked over to take my usual spot at the front of the Diner, three seats to the left. The seat sunk under me as I pressed my weight against it, I fingered the plush red stool as the weary woman in front of me asked me what I would like. “One cappuccino with two sugars and a large piece of apple pie.” I said briskly. The woman nodded and disappeared in the kitchen. The diner was dead, as usual, I liked it this way because I never get time to sit and just think to myself during the hectic day of classes and study groups. Suddenly, the faint ring of the bell to announce a customer rung and I spun around on my swivel stool to catch a glimpse of what person would be coming into Alice’s Diner at such an odd hour of the night. My heart stopped and it had seemed like I had forgotten how to breathe when I stared at the beautiful creature that had stepped into the room. A medium height woman with crystal blue eyes and platinum blonde hair provocatively stood in the doorway clutching a black handbag. Her white dress shined under the dim lights of the diner and she glowed as if she was an angel sent down from heaven. She glided to the booth opposite me and sat with her legs crossed. Usually when it comes to pretty women I fall under the pressure of being rejected but tonight I felt exceptionally brave. I stood up, ignoring the weary woman bringing me my dessert, and staggered to her booth. I quickly sat down across from her before she had the chance to shoo me off. Startled, she stared at me through her faux lashes and piercing eyes. She smiled causing her ruby red lips and bark colored beauty mark to shift slightly.

“Hi.” The creature said in a silky and soft voice.

I stumbled on my words but after the awkward introduction I became articulate with my words. Hours went by as we talked, useless conversation that made us both laugh, a conversation that I knew I would never forget. However, as we talked and became more familiar with each other I noticed something in her eyes. They seemed sad and filled with pain, a pain that is caused when a person is exposed to too much too early in their life, a pain that sticks with a person forever. Her soft voice became rough as she choked on her words. They were lies, lies that a person tells to make people like them. It seemed as if she were desperate for something, love and affection, something that she was never given. The clock struck three and the weary woman came to our table and politely asked us to leave. We both stood up swiftly and headed for the door. I glanced quickly at the piece of pie and the cappuccino that had been left untouched on the table. I opened the rusty doors, allowing the beautiful lady to exit and then I. She stared at me intently as I bid her farewell. She smiled and proceeded to wrap herself around me. Her soft and warm body was comforting in my arms. Suddenly the pain she had held back for so long possessed her and she began weeping into my chest as she tightened herself around me. I didn’t ever want to let her go, I just wanted to tell her how amazing she was and how much she meant to me and possibly other people in the world. I gripped her tighter to my body as she trembled and the words “I love you,” randomly slipped from my mouth. And then, she vanished. What I was once holding was now dead air and I stood alone in the darkness.

© 2015 LoveAlways

My Review

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Reviews

Jacob Clifford

Before I even start: I love the title. It's simple; it's inviting; it's engaging. I wouldn't have even read this if the title hadn't stood out to me so much.

I quite like this story. It's simple, yet appealing. It has everything a good story needs: a diner, beautiful women, and apple pie! And that ending was certainly thought-provoking.

As far as technicality goes, this has room for improvement. I would suggest aiming to be more concise with your writing. The text felt blocky. I would try breaking it into more paragraphs. And there was a fair number of coma splices.

Overall, this was good. Definitely keep writing! I'm excited to see where you go.

Posted 9 Years Ago

TheBubbleManiac

Such a wonderful piece of work. The ending made me wonder what this woman truly was. A ghost, a figment of his imagination? This made me question so many things. Why did she yearn for love and affection? Why would she lie? what pained her so greatly? A true piece of work. I look forward to reading more!