Collision Course - Prologue

The first time I ever saw him the encounter only lasted about ten seconds, just long enough for us to make eye contact with each other. He was being chased through a parking lot by a security guard and I was about to rescue him, forever changing the course of my life " only I didn't know it yet.

By the time he came into view the guard was right behind him, just an arm-lengths out of reach. Hesitatingly I watched him, unable to look away as he ran towards me. He was tall and well-built, with the kind of body I would've put money on having come from a long relationship with sports and exercise. Even as he came charging down the parking lot, I could see that he was hot, with brown hair and a strong, handsome face ... and it was obvious from both his overtly good looks and the fact that he was being pursued by a guard that he was trouble with a capital T.

As he ran towards me, my instincts had me stepping out of the way to let both him and the security guard pass, but then his eyes met mine and a devilish smile crossed his face. It impressed me that he could manage such an obviously smart-a*s smile even as he was running at full speed; so without thinking about the whys of it, when the security guard pulled even with me I pretended to trip, crashing into him as I did.

We went down in a tangle of confused limbs, and even before we hit the pavement I was asking myself what the hell I thought I was doing. I didn't know this boy and, more importantly, had no idea what he'd done to warrant being chased. But it was too late to go back, the decision had been made and I was about to pay for it. The air was knocked out of me as I landed hard on the asphalt, the guard coming down on top of me.

Momentum had us skidding along the parking lot, and I could feel the pavement scarping the soft flesh of my arms, legs, and back before we finally came to a stop.

For a moment I laid there, stunned and hurting, before I heard it " his laugh came floating back towards me, playful and vivacious, and I knew he'd realized what'd happened. That I'd slammed into the guard for him. That I had saved him.

By the time I was able to move again, to look up for him, he was long gone. Relief washed over me as I began to pick myself up off the pavement. I had no idea who he was or why I'd felt compelled to come between him and the guard, but he was a complication I didn't need or want. With a sigh of frustration I focused my attention back on the now angry guard, sincerely apologizing to him as I tried not to over-analyze what I'd just done.

The encounter had lasted only seconds, and we hadn't exchanged a single word, but it didn't matter " the collision course had already been set. Ten seconds and a disarming smile, that's all it had taken to change my life.

Reviews

[Riding the Rainbow]

This is love at first sight so I know what it feels like to do stupid things for someone you just met.

[Rose Kavanagh]

This is a very interesting start. A few minor critiques:

-- "The first time I ever saw him the encounter only lasted about ten seconds, just long enough for us to make eye contact with each other."

I feel like the two parts of this sentence should be separated by a hyphen instead of a comma and "with each other" should be removed. So, it would read: "The first time I ever saw him the encounter only lasted about ten seconds - just long enough for us to make eye contact."

-- "He was being chased through a parking lot by a security guard and I was about to rescue him, forever changing the course of my life - only I didn't know it yet."

Most of this sentence is in the passive voice, so I would recommend changing that. Also, I find it a bit wordy and explanatory - you should leave a bit more to the reader's imagination. "Only I didn't know it yet" is unnecessary, since the narrator likely can't predict the future. I would change it to: "A security guard chased him through the parking lot and I rescued him - forever changing the course of my life."

-- "Hesitatingly" should be "hesitantly".

Other than that, this start has great potential, it just needs to be "cleaned up" a bit. Best of luck with your writing! :)