Poet's Surrender

A story has taken my pen, and stopped the poetry from flowing.

The poet's voice, now cracked and hoarse,
plucks not the words from smoky air-
she twists the rhyme with waning force,
calls forth the thunder from her lair.
But nature answers not her plea;
she fights the voice, but cannot flee.

Her eyes see beauty in the tale
that haunts her nights and steals her pen.
It drains this art and makes it frail,
seeds carried off by quail and wren.
The story-muse commands her mind,
and words stream on from out of time.
The poet-muse she cannot find
to blend this tale in form and rhyme.

High in the air, her muses fight
with gleaming swords that slash in space;
She watches through each restless night,
each day the victor she must face.

The story spins a web below-
within it she can only write
a storyline unearthed so slow,
its ending is far out of sight.
A web so dense she cannot move,
it chokes the breath around her art.
Her music makes a countermove,
but dies so swift, it breaks her heart.

The characters now breathe and live-
they freeze in place when she is gone.
Her mortal life they will outlive,
move on to yet another pawn.
If she cannot with patience tell
what they have come to bid her say,
her pen will dry, a great write felled
by yet another deafened prey.

And so consumed by unseen being
that follows her to work and back,
she writes on scraps, her words unseen,
not thinking what each line may lack.
For formless comes this story-muse,
and formless will her tale be spun.
With blazing sun, she lights the fuse
that signals she has surely won.

No earthly power can silence speech
from subtle realms we cannot reach.
No end in sight,
the poet sighs,
with empty hand,
gives up her stand.

Author's Note

I do love the story that has taken over my life- a novel or novella that writes itself while I watch to see what happens next. But I miss the poetry, which provides closure quickly. How do novelists sustain through so many pages? I hope the story will give me breaks from its telling that I may write a poem here or there to post!

Reviews

[emmajoy]

An amazingly beautiful poem, full of power yet delicacy, meter marvellous.. and phrases i pray for! Am fascinated.. or enchanted by the way you lay your sentences, part traditional but also immensely free spirited - natural for today's understanding .. .. ' The story-muse commands her mind, - and words stream on from out of time. - The poet-muse she cannot find - to blend this tale in form and rhyme..

This is musical, could sway to its lyrics, ' For formless comes this story-muse, - And formless will her tale be spun. - With blazing sun, she lights the fuse - that signals she has surely won. '

Re.reading, i feel you FEEL words and roll their sounds around your mouth, checking they have that certain something! If there's a pick n mix' somewhere that sells them.. please, please, let me know.

Wonderful tale of trying to reach the heights you want, a successful search for the Golden Fleece, for sure!

May i add a far too long PS, please. when first stepped over the cafe's threshold, was doing so as a prose player - (dare i say 'author' - it's such a grand word)! However, being honest - few people had time or interest in reading EITHER my useless writing or, they preferred to read work starting with V. for verse'!. I couldn't and still can't write traditional metered verse, tho do try as a discipline. Which is why i write Prose poetry and juggle shape, sound and more - much to many's disgust! WHICH is why admirethe thought, care and skill in your writing.

Another postscript, methinks the writer who proclaims, 'NO, NO - not wanting praise or whatever, I only write for myself." Latest awkward question, in that case, why publish on a writing site!

[Marianne Rose]

Wow, dear friend, such a wonderful review filled with your emotional reactions as well as your enthusiasm and appreciation! I think you're right in picking up the longing I have for the SOUND of poetry coming through an expressive voice. Maybe because I write songs and have performed and directed theatre, the spoken word is so important to me. I even like writing speeches from time to time- passionate, inspiring sermons almost. So writing just to write and read it silently holds much less thrill for me. When I write I do either voice what I'm writing, or imagine a voice speaking it. It's actually the same when I read someone else's' work, whether novel or poetry. I didn't know that this would come across though- so that is a wonderful gift you offer me. I also struggle with rhyme- and prefer free verse where I'm not thinking at all about the words- but this poem needed a different effect to capture the feeling I was having about the struggle between the muses and my response to them. Muses in themselves call up a more classical or mythic feeling, don't they? So they needed a different kind of poem than I would normally write. Yes- I have the same kind of reaction to posting stories here- but for me it seems like the audience moves through so many pieces, there is almost no time to consider posting a story. So I've just joined the pace, it's hard to get around to as many friends as there are here, I understand now why some don't accept friending at all. Last, your PS is interesting- I publish here to gain confidence, pure and simple. I've been writing for years, but it wasn't until I decided to share a poem with some students I was facilitating a group for, that they exclaimed- "why aren't you getting this out there?" So, probably first to model the courage it takes to be transparent with something so personal, I told them I would. Found this site, and heard that maybe I do have something to say after all. I always figured anything that was worth saying had already been said. But since then I've realized that we all have unique voices we can add to the tremendous diversity of thought and expression. And mine is just as unique as the next person, so why not? A long answer to your question, but an honest one. I would say that the first praise to me came simply as "keep writing". It's hard to accept praise - encouraging, yes, but emotionally confusing. I think, really, my longing is to be understood and heard for what emerges from my soul's experience in this body, far more than to be praised. Does this make sense? But, I am starting to get used to praise too, and maybe that's another reason why I'm here! I so appreciate your comments and honest questions, and your tremendous review of this particular piece. 💜

[Rico]

This was so good!

she fights the voice, but cannot flee.

Her eyes see beauty in the tale
that haunts her nights and steals her pen.

The story spins a web below-
within it she can only write
a storyline unearthed so slow,
its ending is far out of sight.
A web so dense she cannot move,
it chokes the breath around her art.
Her music makes a countermove,
but dies so swift, it breaks her heart.

The characters now breathe and live-
they freeze in place when she is gone.
Her mortal life they will outlive,
move on to yet another pawn.
If she cannot with patience tell
what they have come to bid her say,
her pen will dry, a great write felled
by yet another deafened prey.

These were my favorite parts. I'm embarrassed to say how many times I read this ha. It's inspiring and I will definitely implement this concept into future work.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Loved the details and feeling expressed throughout this poem. Held me throughout. Tyfs!

[Nolo Segundo]

A truly lovely poem that passes all the acid tests: the words flow through the mind like a spring-swollen stream; it is highly imaginative; and it's one of those poems one wants to read again and again. (And please forgive a minor point. but used as a possessive, 'it's ending' should have been 'its ending'. I have to proofread several times to catch stuff like that in my own work.)

[Mari R-J]

You write very differently than me. But it's really good. Can you review my stuff?

[Marianne Rose]

Yes- thanks for your review- a book really has grabbed hold of my pen, so I'll read and review as my has I can before it calls back to me!

[William Liston]

I had the opposite problem that you have now: I stopped writting short stories altogether and put all my focus on poetry. Unlike you, however, I don't miss writing short stories because I prefer writing poetry, so it was a happy transition for me.

I understand why not being able to write poetry may be a bad experience for you, so here's something that I do almost daily that may help with your "poetry block": When I wake up in the morning, I read a poem and devote a sentence or two (or eight) to analyze its imagery, tone, message, and/or whatever other aspect I find interesting about the piece. I usually alternate between rhyming poetry and free verse.

Sometimes, if I have no schoolwork or test(s) to study for, I'll pick a random object and write a free-verse poem of about five to six lines long about that object. Those poems are usually not very good, but they do get the poetic side my mind flowing. When writing poems like this, don't overwhelm yourself. Keep the poem short (unless your poetic heart decides not to).

As for this poem itself, I enjoyed it. I think the first stanza especially describes writer's block very well. The rhyme was unique too. Your use of enjambment gave this poem a somewhat "dissonant" feeling; the rhymes felt scattered and unexpectable (which is a good thing in this case). This poem's effect reminded me of two other pieces: "Dreams" by Edgar Allan Poe (not to be confused with "Dreamland," "A Dream Within a Dream," and "A Dream" written by the same author) and "Boy at the Window" by Richard Wilbur.

Thanks for sharing this piece.

- William Liston

[Marianne Rose]

Thanks William for your tips and review- the story is so prevalent now, it wakes me up to write another chapter, so I've accepted that poetry is on hold for a while until the words of the story stop writing on the page. I may slip a poem in here and there, but I guess I want to give myself over to this process- it hasn't happened this way for probably 20 years! Still, I appreciate your insight into clearing poetic blocks, and will try your suggestions if I miss the poetic voice too much . . . As always, your insights and reviews always are much appreciated!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i never could sustain writing or attention span to write a novel...started four of them...

never finished...yes, poems have closure...i really like this poem...feels like i have felt a lot lately, that my words are losing force..

yours are definitely not...you have written a poem that many of us who are getting older, can relate to...

but in a way the words still write themselves when poetry is in our blood.

i like this journey...

[Marianne Rose]

I started three myself, when I was in my 30's, and my husband painted as I wrote. One had promise, but there was an element of maturity that I lacked- the main character lost her father, and mine was still here at the time- just couldn't or wouldn't quite fathom it. I kept thinking I would go back to it after my father died, but it seemed the muse of that story had moved on to inspire another. I fear with this one if I don't keep up, it will meet the same fate. I so appreciate your sharing your experience with me- I too like poems with forceful ideas and words. But I must say, the last one of yours had an uncommon sweetness about it, a gentleness that I appreciated. Perhaps there is more to life than intensity- though I doubt it- my life, dreams and thoughts are usually intense and quite serious. Theatre was in my blood early in my life, so perhaps that has transferred to the poet's voice now that the outlet of the stage is gone, at least from my profession if not my life perspective. Anyway, a ramble here- but i wanted you to know how much I appreciate the affinity found in your review, and the kind encouragement that the poetry is not losing force- just paused for a moment to attend to the drive of this story. I too like the journey . . .

[Inject Positivity]

This really speaks to me more as I know the back story of this poem... 6 months ago when I was pretty new to writing, I didn't know how to write poetry or story, I would write some rhyming couplets and post them here with a name, but then I felt I should not write because they are nowhere near good... But then an inspiration, a muse which forced and kind of shook me to write whatever I had in my mind and I'm glad I wrote those things that my heart said, because if I had not, I would have gone away from this site...

Sometimes life wants us to write something, it wants us to write something that our conscious mind hardly realize the value but our unconscious mind knows it's preciousness... We find a powerful force inside us that puts us in front of a diary and make us write from our heart's mind... I think this is what happening with you, life's forces are making you passionate about writing the story that you have in your hidden corner of mind... Even though it might make your poetic self sleep for a bit but it will be worth it, and you can always write poetry with your heart whenever you feel like...

A very gentle and peaceful write that is filled with a story of poet who is deeply passionate about writing a book or story that has been roaming with her every day and night...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Marianne Rose]

Your insight and sensitivity to the writing process amazes me! Your encouragement helps me to keep surrendering to the story, wherever it takes me. Sometimes I want to quit- but the leading character especially calls out to me as if he cannot take another step without my pen in hand. The town in which the story plays out is mapped out, waiting for me to follow love it's streets with activity. Thank you for your wonderful review, and the reassurance that my heart will hear poetry again when it's time. You are such a gift.💙