10 Minutes

Loving the suspended moments of presence.

10 minutes
to look into your blue eyes
to memorize the crinkles
at each side
paint the crystals in my mind
to wonder at this moment
finding love
without disguise

10 minutes to watch
as you listen to bird calls
subtle changes in light
with the glint of surprise
a shadow of your sadness
always present in the depths
fatigue and loss
that binds our souls
priceless joy safely kept

I could stay a thousand moments longer
drifting in the sea
of your love for me
vast and timeless
I capture you
with hazel eyes
sparkling yet deep
our time together fleeting
this moment
we tuck into pockets
carrying it with us
parting
never truly
10 minutes
just you and me

Author's Note

Precious time together this morning

Reviews

[William Liston]

You've captured the essence of a special moment very well in this poem ... I loved it. This poem had a dream-like feel to it, reminiscent of the slightly tired, yet passionate emotions of two lovers in the morning (as I've interpreted it). This piece also has nice imagery ... it's simple yet descriptive enough to paint a picture in the reader's mind. The lines "paint the crystals in my mind / to wonder at this moment" could scarcely be improved; they helped make this poem ethereal -- as if it were too delicate to exist.

You've also done well on the technical side too. Your line breaks are in good places -- places that continuously flow or places that allow the reader to breathe.

There's nothing I can critique about this. You've done very good. Thanks for sharing.

- William Liston

[Marianne Rose]

You've captured so well in your words the feeling of that morning- dream-like, sleepy, and I loved that you felt an ethereal quality in it too! Now that I'm awake at the end of a long day, I can hardly grasp what it felt like to linger in that dreamlike time. Thank you for such a beautiful and thorough review- down to the line breaks and flow- your kind words are most appreciated!

[Glen Weimann]

Hi Marianne. I was very taken with the premise of the poem, the fleetingness and preciousness. I love the flow and feel. And for some reason I can't quite decide, I have a favourite line, which is 'we tuck into pockets'. Probably because that encapsulates capturing and retaining special moments. I get a sense of long term long established love from the poem; there's something all-seeing about this love. Of course, there may also have been a passionate roll in the hay as part of the back-story, but it would have been an eyes wide open savour it roll in the hay.

Nice job!

Regards
Nigel

[Mari R-J]

Oh man, you're good. Such good rhythm. That intimacy is great. It's like I'm looking at his eyes and feeling how you love him.

[Marianne Rose]

Thank you! I suspect love has entered your life- since you spoke of renewed joy. It's a wonderful feeling- whether brand new or rediscovered in a waking moment when suddenly you know how fortunate you are and how you never want it to end . . .

[Luke Daniels]

Wow. A very powerful poem. I love how use many different emotions to create feeling in the reader and truly paint a picture in their mind. It was masterly done and I love it!

[Marianne Rose]

Thank you so much- I wish we all had suspended moments together to cherish and relax into. We are such deep creatures but hardly take the time to plunge in. Your review is very kind and appreciated!

[Ashwin Shanker]

FAntastic poem which captures the importance of living from moment to moment in our lives.
10 minutes is often the time that we give ourselves to truly enjoy the present. Quite often our minds are walking a tightrope with the past and future on either sides.

"I could stay a thousand moments longer
drifting in the sea
of your love for me
vast and timeless "

I really loved this part, had me wowed. I remember that whenever I spend time with my beloved, I often wish that there should have been a thousand moments longer. And we secretly wish that they wouldn't disappear into obscurity but instead be translated to golden moments that we can cherish in our memories.

Wow,,, Great poetry does inspire great poetic comments too... See ure poem had an effect on me.

[Marianne Rose]

Yes- poets speaking to each other, back and forth, create some of the greatest synergy of ideas and words! How true that the present seems sandwiched tightly between the past and the future, rather than how it could be, with the present pushing back to keep the past and the future in their places so we can breathe . . . I'm so glad you enjoyed and could relate to that longing to suspend chronology, and let the eternal hold us in a vast present. And yes, these golden moments, if we could capture them, would help us through difficulties, help us to remember that cherishing the present is a gift to open daily. I often think this when I contemplate what it might be like if my beloved dies before me- will I be able to access these moments, call back the whole experience, real and sustaining? Thank you for your reflections and poetic response, which has me thinking more about the gifts of the present!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Ironically, The latest poem which I shared is also about living in the present moment. Do have a look.
Actually that is the biggest catch which mankind has to focus on, living in the present moment. No wonder it is called the 'Gift'... Kung fu panda anyone :P

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Beautiful poesy! Full of imagery and beauty. "Finding love without disguise," amazing line!

[Marianne Rose]

Thank you! Inspiration pours out of my husband every morning- but I don't always get a chance to savor it. Thanks for visiting and reviewing!

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

You're most welcome!

[Sarah]

Wonderful poem about the short amount of time we have with the people we love. Just a glance really, and then they're gone. We need to take advantage of it as much as possible.

[Marianne Rose]

Yes, so true. Every once and a while I remember the many times I almost lost my husband in an operating room or accident. Then those special timeless moments freeze, and I really appreciate what we have together. I hope those moments stay tucked in my pocket so they are ready to bring out when he is gone. Thank you for your understanding and reflection of how precious our time is together.

[Teddybearlee]

Every moment is glorious when you approach them like this. The beauty of a single moment, captured magically in your writing. This is the way to live, astounding Marianne. Time is always ticking, but you know what is important in your heart, and I believe that's what life is all about.

[Marianne Rose]

It is in the intention and approach, isn't it? I hadn't thought about it that way- those moments just seem to drop in on me like a gift. But taking the time to approach a moment- I like that. Thanks for your insight, uplifting review and message.

[Inject Positivity]

The most adorable moments two people can ever have... As I know the relationship between you and your husband, I can feel every single thought you have said here... In this modern world where people are so busy with online talking and chatting, we almost forgot that the best moments of our life are the ones which we spend with our loved ones being there with them in person...

Such a beautiful way to express the feelings of spending those precious ten minutes with your soul mate... You brought so much innocence into this dear frnd... I pray that you both stay together many more years here and also forever in heaven... God bless you frnd...

[Marianne Rose]

Your reviews are so filled with gentle kindness and confirmation, they are a gift to my heart. Thank you for being there to witness this unusual journey and affirm our marriage - the best parts of it especially- and thank you for your prayers and friendship, brother. God bless you also.

[Bacchus]

stunning.
like the eyes that made these words start rolling.
it really is precious- and i love it.

[Marianne Rose]

Thank you my friend. Those moments are precious and keep me going when life spins away too fast or I get stuck in quicksand. Your kind words are so appreciated.