Lingering

Thoughts of being with the dying, in the moments when they have not yet made peace with themselves, and face a dark night as potent as the dark night of the soul.

When the hand of the dark night
Thrusts itself into your heart,
Twists and pulls something out
Like psychic surgery,
You know you have descended.
I've walked with you there,
Entered the nightmare
And followed you,
Moving toward a freshly dug grave.
I went with you for two reasons-
Because I could
And because I had been there before.

Your body an empty shell
On the hospital bed
Vacant to all appearance,
Your essence descending beyond
What most people can sense.
I've been there with you,
In the last moments
Cancer
Trauma
Old age
Bizarre fatal events
Whatever your body battled
As machines kept up a semblance of life,
The journey to the underworld was the same.
You fought
Or wandered aimlessly confused
Looked for a light that was not there
Saw mirrors of your life instead, taunting you
Always the wrenching pain of a heart that would not give up beating
Resounding like echoes in a cavern some distance away

The dark night comes when we are awake
But the quality of its visit is different,
A portent of the final days for some,
A resolution and a promise not to return for others.

Different images appear for you who linger
A boat to take you away, forbidding with its pirate crew,
casket prepared for your passage.
A fire consuming everything around you,
Closing you into one small circle of air.
An empty white room, no doors or windows to escape.
The shadows of the men you killed,
Gunfire in the background,
There and gone and there again,
Fiercely hunting you.

I stand beside you, watching.
You do whatever you must to shake free
Of the vestiges of your fears and memories.
There is no tunnel of light or friendly faces to greet you,
Only the lifelike projections of your past,
Your remorse, rage, bitterness, terror.

Sometimes you linger long and hard.
Sometimes you work quickly to overcome
So you can rise from the underworld,
Take possession of your body again,
And shed a final tear of goodbye.

I will sit beside your body and console the ones who care,
But my spirit will be split between here and where you are.
It does not matter how long it takes, 6 hours,
Days or weeks
I will not leave you once by your side.
And when you have settled your business there,
I will rejoice, exhausted, but full of your peace.

So when I tell others I want no regrets,
I seek peace before that time,
I intend to leave no harm unforgiven,
It is because I hope the dark night will pass me by
And offer a deathbed reprieve
That I may ascend willingly
And free.

Author's Note

As a chaplain, I sat with many as they were dying, sometimes for hours, and with family, for days and weeks. In silence and openness, visions of the experiences of those unconscious at the end of life can happen, if you are willing to accompany people even in their interior journeys. Most of my visions were confirmed as I spoke with family members after the loved one had died- when it was appropriate to talk about it. Some people do not have an easy way. Others let go easily and their spirits seem to rise without any obstacles. That's the way I want to go- with ease.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree my dear friend.
So when I tell others I want no regrets,
"I seek peace before that time,
I intend to leave no harm unforgiven,
It is because I hope the dark night will pass me by
And offer a deathbed reprieve
That I may ascend willingly
And free. "
I sat by many good people death beds. They wanted proper ending and forgiveness. The above lines is needed. Always leave with a bridge of love that can never be broken. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Inject Positivity]

As science says "energy can only be transformed" and our soul is the most powerful source of energy in the world... When we reach to the stage of death often times guilt, shame, terror and past mistakes come in the way of death, as the Bible says death is only a transformation into another world but those hard things makes the dying soul more sorry for itself... What it needs is love, it needs forgiveness at those final stages of life...

Your topics are very very deeply meant and how closely you have observed this life... This is a very unique write, it's a hunting and shivering write...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Marianne Rose]

You speak the truth. All of what you say resonates with me. Thank you for your review- yes, when my husband heard it, he too thought it was in a different voice than my other poetry. Thank you so much for taking the time to look through my eyes so I can share what I see.

[H.L. Cerveise]

This is a very haunting and thought-provoking writing. I really like it. I truly believe a part of a person's spirit lingers here on earth. I really like your line, "Saw mirrors of your life instead, taunting you." I feel in death that is when we are forced to see ourselves and what we are and what we can be.

Well done.

[Marianne Rose]

Thank you so much for your reflections- yes, we face ourselves, and if someone stands with us, perhaps love brings about the forgiveness that is needed. No one need die alone. But so many do. This haunts me a lot. Thank you for your reflections and review- not everyone is willing to read and reflect on the subject of death.