Unchurched

The contrasting poem to "Remembering a Friend", my experience of churches

I know there must be a reason
Why I keep searching
For the people who are said to be my kin.
And it's true,
Every new experience brings
Perhaps one more friend into my life,
Finding each other in the mass of people
Who collect to do something they call,
"Worship".
We sing and eat together
Shake hands or hug
Declaring peace for a moment.
In that time,
The love is genuine in our eyes
And the blessing full of promise.
"Communion" feels real and full of grace.

But there are only one or two of you
Who are willing to make that moment last,
Beyond the sacred time
Set apart for us to be
United in purpose.
When the spell of "worship" is broken
And we must go out to share something they call
"Fellowship"
In the outside hall,
Your eyes change to
Cold indifference
Or shallow pools.
I do not wish to judge you,
But when I travel from house to house,
To take part in every possible type of
"Worship",
I find the same story played out again and again.

There have been times
When one of you, or more,
Carried swords of fire in your
Sunday best
That stabbed me to the heart
And bled out my faith.
Other times I'm just
Another potential donor,
And you turn away, politely, when you find
I have no money to pledge.

The worst is when one lie
On someone's evil lips
Sweeps like a brush fire
Through your tight-knit group,
And I am branded
Forsaken
Left to decide if I should try to right the wrong,
Or quietly slip away.

Now I do not expect to find
My people in your houses,
Even though I am what you call
A "believer".
I am "unchurched" in your eyes,
Another asset you cannot access.
But my people are out there,
Wounded like me,
Clinging to a god (or goddess)
who treats us with kindness
And dignity.
Heals hearts
Gently.

Author's Note

Although much of the imagery is Catholic, I have visited every brand of Christian church, sat with Quakers, praised with Pentecostals, "reborn" at a revival, visited the most conservative and the most liberal churches. Lots of peak experiences and contemplative revelations, so it's not that I didn't learn a tremendous amount about myself and God. I just haven't experienced lasting community with people outside the walls of the church.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i was raised catholic, and became "unchurched" for several reasons...still very much spiritual...but what goes on inside that building...for some a temporary fix...and for some just a day to make them saved for the rest of the week...maybe good intentions behind it...but real christianity is in the actions that last.

i definitely relate to this one...on so many levels.

j.

[Marianne Rose]

Thanks J. Yes, so many different reasons why people go at first, and then the period that becomes automatic, like going to work. Some of my actions are pretty out there as a follower of Jesus- like helping a friend move to Colorado this week by driving the family's second car. Not something I planned, but something my husband and feel led to do - not because of duty or doctrine- because it feels right, a choice woven into some plan I don't know the details or outcome of. Anyway, thanks for your review, and including your own experience and perspective.

[Coyote Poetry]

Life teaches us many things. What is real or not.
"Wounded like me,
Clinging to a god (or goddess)
who treats us with kindness
And dignity.
Heals hearts
Gently. "
Many wounded people. Easy to hide than show true face. I liked the thoughts and the honest ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Marianne Rose]

You speak with compassion for the wounded- who knows what is hidden behind each face of those who visit, or those who belong to churches. Wise to see both sides. Thank you for your encouraging review.

[Coyote Poetry]

You did well. All of us had lost things we cannot find again. Pain never forgotten and you are welcome.

[Inject Positivity]

It's the truth... Most of them go to churches on Sunday with a merry heart and a desire to worship God, they make promises in the name of our savior Jesus Christ but those moments seems temporary in this modern age, people has made it a part of their fashion, they take worshiping God as just simply a duty with no real desire to serve God... This is a very truthfully write and shows your experience throughout your life... I completely agree with you with the message of the poem... Excellently penned...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Marianne Rose]

Thank you Dhiman, for relating to these reflections, and liking the way it's expressed. I used to feel angry about people who went to church then left and went back to lives that bore no resemblance to the teaching or worship they just experienced. Now I know the God of my understanding loves us all, no matter where we are in our own personal journey. But something in me still wants to shake people awake if I can so they don't hurt any more fragile people who show up looking for friendship and acceptance.