Whence

I looked from whence I could see the stars; there were days clouded in ice and days

where the sun  lifted me on orange rays

and yet here I am still behind veiled bars

 

Sometimes ivory clad sometimes silver steel, the endless ringing echoes

a mind laid waste in a thousand ghettos

sometimes a floundering fish on a reel

 

I looked from whence I could see the stars, these were nights of shattering displays

of dreams that once smouldered but now decays

the cold dying for things that never was

 

Reviews

[Rob Santana]

Graceful writing.

[Alexandria Reece]

The destruction is able to be tasted in your words, I had to read the poem twice before I could digest it in my mind. Your work is as a carefully painted watercolour, none of the shades are straight from the pre-mixed tubes, you play and swirl and bring together many to create your own. Refined and unique are you and this poem makes it all the more apparent. I especially love and am envious of this gem:
'these were nights of shattering displays'
Seriously, that is pure brilliance Lady! Thank you for sharing :)

[Antonio Valentino]

as a young man i started to develop my own philosophy of life to carry me through over course and dale.. one of the first laws i etched onto the inside of my eyelids was, "don't ever put yourself in a situation that you will regret." its simple enough.. but what it meant to me specifically was, dont do anything stupid now that will put you behind bars later.. so far ive held steadfast with that promise to myself.. thank god..

this reminded me of that..

and, it reminds me of a favorite saying:

"theres no fool like an old fool, just ask any young fool"

haha.. we dont get old entirely by chance.. we have to constantly blow our nose of temptations to keep it clear to breathe air thats, free..

wonderful piece.. made me think didnt it.. i like it when that happens

:)

[Leon A. Walker]

This is fabulous work!

[writing mojo]

truly amazing form here, I love how it rolls off the tongue, like words in Carmel lipped charm...your observation is a cosmic perceptive precision..good stuff

[Robbie~xoxo~]

This is Breathtaking! Such intense emotions transcend through this...the despair is truly felt.

[SlightlyOdd]

I like it sort of gives me the impression if a fragile eturnity and i think i spelled that wrong. It flows well

[...]

gorgeous portrait here moon :)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

As intensive as this was to read, I felt that the hopelessness, melancholy wasn't totally unreconcilable. Very well written. I felt that this ending had faded appropiately with a gentle wispery last line.

[Henry]

'these were nights of shattering displays/ of dreams that once smouldered but now decays/ the cold dying for things that never was'

There was a time in my life where i felt with age possibility was lost and dreams decayed in the coldness of this reality. lost hope is like decay in the soul.