Burning

It’s not that I could not see the light

When it burnt the forest alight

With a passion of the fires rage

Hence bound in a rusted cage

 

To dwell in yesterdays

Trapped, penance paid

Dawn just an endless night

The stars dazzled in flight

 

Yet the night was dark of gloom

In your heart for me no room

What you set alight was your rage

I was caught in a passion cage

 

A dream that never saw the day

It is where you held sway

Orchestrating a tune

All it was, was a fallen ruin

Reviews

[APOORVA]

With a passion of the fires rage
Hence bound in a rusted cage
POWERFUL AND MIND GRASPING.

To dwell in yesterdays
Trapped, penance paid
LIKED IT AGAIN.


A dream that never saw the day
WOW! WOW! WOW!
SUPERB LINE, WHAT AN INSIGHT

[MOON]

Thank you , much appreciated. Take care

[Diamond]

Great poem filled with pain and dark imagery...beautifully penned.

[MOON]

Thank you much appreciated

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Moon,
Exciting. Raw and honest expression of what hurts and it's acceptance. moving on is what one would hope for but it is healthy to look right into the eyes of change and loss and just cry and then leave it behind but we people do remember. Beautiful write.................Kathy

[MOON]

Thank you Kathy , will stop by soon . Take care.

[barleygirl]

This is really beautiful & it goes so well with the image you've selected! I love the interesting word choices, I love the natural-sounding rhymes, I love the slow transformation from burning passion to rage and ruin, so vividly detailed, yet also vague enuf for any reader to insert one's own experience into the read. This is an interesting message that reads so gracefully.

[wordman]

you are a great story teller ! the metaphors was perfect
sad write but well written

[jacob erin-cilberto]

when we get caught in another's forest and they cannot see the light, then we end up being the ones suffering in their darkness...i relate so well to this...one person, (we are still very close) who just had too much anger and wouldn't let me in----

i like the slant rhyme in the last two lines..."tune/ruin"

very well done, Moon

j.

[MOON]

Thank you Jacob, most appreciated.

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing flow of thoughts and words. I like the story-told leading to the strong ending.
"A dream that never saw the day
It is where you held sway
Orchestrating a tune
All it was, was a fallen ruin"
The above lines were my favorite. Thank you Moon for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[MOON]

Thank you always.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.

[Sami Khalil]

Some people dwell in the past, linger in failed relationships, live on borrowed hopes. They can't see the light or a way out of the burning . They become trapped in a box and suffer. An excellent write Moon....:)))))

[MOON]

Indeed sometimes we trapped by the promise , can't face reality and love burns and cages rather then inspires.

[MOON]

Thanks Sami , always good when you stop by.

[Sami Khalil]

All true. You are welcome. ....:)))

[BeautifulHoliday]

I think your first 3 stanzas are very powerful. I think your tone and rhyme scheme fit well with the theme of the poem, however, I almost wanted the poem to climax in the final lines and almost not decrease in intensity (perhaps implying an unresolved situation). Great poem!