Promise Destroyed

On the edge of the bluest sky

Tinged the grey embracing you

This summer, winter and fall

Influences my jaundiced view

 

There are but fleeting moments of joy

Then the rain with harsh thunder calls

Raising the forest marching towards you

This drumbeat of life holds no clue

 

One second illuminates the dark

Turns to night of blackest gloom

A series of footfalls around you arc

Everything in your midst destroy

 

They may say don’t forecast the doom

Your only moment of safety lying in the womb

Reviews

[ANTO]

You always paint an unforgettable sky MOON (bloody sky on 'Bloodworld'; bluest ..tinged with gray here) - as a director panning the readers mind's eye from the sky to the most vivid poetic landscapes. Its hard to forgive sometimes but our own world is tinged until we do.

[MOON]

Thanks Anto , go well.

[Lydia Shutter]

Ah, yes, the newborn baby does not know it has just left the safest, calmest place it will ever be. Dark attitude in this one, but the honest emotions are well written. Lydi**

[MsJewel]

It is a scary world - I love the melancholy feel of your dark and emtional words.
Brilliant writing!

:) Julie

[MOON]

Thanks Julie, most appreciative , take care.

[Nila M.]

"with great wisdom comes great pain"

[Nila M.]

Very touching and beautiful in its melancholy. Being a sentimental person I really appreciate and can relate this approach to depth of feelings. Laying out the thoughts, feelings and impressions against the coldness but also beauty of nature.

[MOON]

Thank you for your review , take care.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

dark and profound..........
very well written........
i liked it!!!!!
:)

[MOON]

Thank you , take care.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome.......!!! :) :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is fantastic, Moon...
from the time we emerge from the womb there is no safety...we are always in such danger these days...
safer to stay in there...and not deal with the footfalls, and seeing everything around us laid to waste...as we try to survive...
tough world now...and we really have to savor those fleeting moments of joy.

[MOON]

Many thanks take care!

[Miss Sharon]

Oooooooooooo such intensity and vivid imagery in this beautiful and well written piece Moon!

[MOON]

Thank you so much , go well.

[AYVID N]

"There are but fleeting moments of joy

Then the rain with harsh thunder calls

Raising the forest marching towards you

This drumbeat of life holds no clue"


You sum up life so well with these beautiful lines. One second sunshine, the next its clouds and rain. So unpredictable. The joys so fleeting, the troubles more lasting.

A poem so appreciated.

[MOON]

Thanks Divya, your comments are appreciated. Go well.

[AYVID N]

You are welcome. It was a pleasure. Thanks.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Dark, lovely and tragically cynical.
In other words, stunning poetry!

[MOON]

Thank you , kind Sir, take care!