WC: Soldiers Unfortunate

 

So I wrote a little poem

put it on a site

hello darling it’s my own

my  ego’s taken flight

then you came along

looking for a fight

told me

   so many things

 were  not right

 it’s way too long

and boring

my tenses

 and spelling

 all  just wrong

now I began

 to foam

so I’ll just pick

 your bone

Yes, I know you are

 in the ether

let me tell you please

 Sir

I am fragile

someone

 let me have

my fun

While I bash

your head

With  one

 or three

cutting

 stings

there we were

two strangers

Monologues,

 dialogues and

 Lone Rangers

heading for the sunset

 slinging at the hips

I tell you dear

 this place

just gives me

the creeps

online

 attacks

 and defences

 just makes me weep

Now they tell me in Syria

 there is a real war

needing real soldier

 fighting at the door

WC to the rescue

 Bringing muscles

 let’s begin

The way we fight

 online

 Surely we will

 Win

Author's Note

With apologies to Baby Ricochet , copying your style is the sincerest form of flattery.
This is tongue in cheek!

Reviews

[Woody]

funny and yet serious. a very pleasant read indeed.
I believe we can all feel defensive of our writes (our babies). It's only natural I guess.
I love the layout.

[MOON]

Thank you , most appreciative of your comments , take care.

[Woody]

pleasure :)

[ZeniaK]

I understand what you mean... the useless online "battles" we sometimes find ourselves stuck in when there are, you know, ACTUAL problems in the world. haha but great poem, it was fun to read (with something all of us can learn from).

[MOON]

Thank you missed this comment apologies for the belated thanks. Take care!

[J. J. Nightingale]

Wow .. I just delete, and move on ..


Brings things to light ........

Jazz :)

[MOON]

Thanks Jazz, take care!

[J. J. Nightingale]

Have a Happy New Year ... :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

I appreciate that people have their opinions but I think sometimes they should keep it to themselves lol .I absolutely understand what you are saying:)

[MOON]

Many thanks Vidya, all the best, take care.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Thank you Moon and happy holidays :)

[LunarSong]

I love the flow, and tone. So true sometimes :)

[MOON]

Thank you things can get crazy here sometimes.

[LunarSong]

Your welcome. I guess everyone just has their opinions about stuff, and some people like to make theirs known no matter what...

[Poetic Justice]

ha ha ...aint that the truth...I just tell them to shut the f*ck up.. poet laureate my arse!

[MOON]

Ha, ha, indeed, thanks , take care!

[New Dawn]

we certainly have sensitive souls on here, I can't think that i have ever been offended by a review but i am always mindful of peoples feelings when commenting. poems are our creations - it is natural i suppose to feel defensive of them. interesting write x

[MOON]

Many thanks, take care!

[Sugar Plum ♥]

very nice thoughts, even ironical, but true...The expression of the soldier is so good, as everyone could be one. no matter where and how, Who is actually a true soldier? is it the one who takes - willingly or not -innocent lives? Or the one who is fighting for his children, or the one who is fighting just "online"? so many questions...But surely there should be a fight. No one who just look and stay can be called "soldier".

-nour-
july-013

[Will Neill]

Moon, you very kindly read my poem and gave me a good reveiw, as I said poetry is not my usual style and I don't feel qualified to express an opinion on modern poetic prose, but I did enjoy this neat little piece and read it quite a few times. Keep writing.
Will

[MOON]

Thanks will appreciate your comments , don't worry I am a work in progress when it comes to poetry. I thought all poems rhymed and I did not have a clue about metre still don't!

[David Scott]

I agree with the critique of the fighting.
I enjoy when I get feedback about my mistakes... I grow and learn from others observations.
I find it astounding when people get upset when you give an honest review. Some of my favorite writers need a kick in the pants from time to time and I know I do.
I also find it a little off-putting when "great authors" get fussy about having to read poetry with errors. Hey, not everyone is a professional author... and not everyone even has a spell checker.
Offer a helping hand with sincerity and humility and accept any help offered for what it is worth.
Any social interaction will produce some friction. It goes with the territory. So, lube up the chip on your shoulder and jump in!
A worthy write Moon.

[MOON]

You right David sometimes it gets crazy here! Thanks

[Will Neill]

David I sincerly agree with your comments, we all need a kick up the pants every one is here to get their work read and reviewed, if its bad then we need to know, and if it's good well thats ok too. Will