Time

Love take me home let my heart unlock

I saw it written on the clock

Time moves even in the stillness

Time moves without a second hand shown

There is the boat anchored in the dock

Swaying to the side in the  shrillness

The wolf baying lonely on its own

Nothings ever carved in rock

Time moves even in the stillness

Time moves without a second hand shown

Will the unseen

Come and take me home

I saw it written on the clock

Time moves even in the stillness

Time moves without a second hand shown

Reviews

[Balkaran Sidhu]

very nice moon

[John]

Time's relentless march so very well expressed here.

[DrD]

Waiting is the interest time charges for loaning us a place within it. We've all been there and watched how quickly it goes when with one you love and how slowly when waiting for them. You captured the essence of this condition very well and in an almost melodic form that I enjoyed greatly.

[Athina]

wow really nice poem!

[Jazmen]

this has a chilling atmosphere to it. It seems to speed up and slow down time, a vision of a dark navy blue sky and large stones buried in grass and weeds, it's cold and alive, yet empty.. vast planes, and time is in control of it all. I really enjoyed reading this, it has great thoughts weaving it together..
And though it was short, it was well lived. I liked the center piece "There is the boat anchored in the dock

Swaying to the side in the shrillness

The wolf baying lonely on its own

Nothings ever carved in rock

Time moves even in the stillness

Time moves without a second hand shown "
dude.. it was a powerful repetition of that last line..
I feel like when you repeat that for the third time, it should be stated differently.. because it has so much power the second time, the third time can't catch up. Rephrasing only SLIGHTLY or just adding in a word or two between exactly what you've said would give it more character and equalize the poem from top to bottom in my opinion.
Even if you didn't change a thing it is still beautiful. Nice work. Keep it up!

[Ruth]

Your poetry always has a wonderful flow :)
I know that is often remarked on but it is important and your poetry sails with a beauty because of it xoxo

[MOON]

Thanks for your kind words.

[Ruth]

Most welcome xo

[J]

this is lovely, moon. you've managed to capture the elusiveness of time's passing ... it provides both the comfort of constancy and the melancholy of loss.

well done!

[Dr. Wood ?]

comes over like a song.....pick up that guitar

[J. J. Nightingale]

Time is so very unforgiving .. It is the silent dictator .. and we march, and crawl, and breathe, to it's telling .. sigh ..

I like the flow .. and the font .. Jazz

[MOON]

Thanks Time just speeds away too soon.

[Corset]

This is quite beautiful moon. :)