Oh Hell!

Did I say Damn, Oh Hell!

There are nights of radiant stars a million galaxies born

There are days that slip by unaccounted for they are gone

There is an unkempt boy in a tattered shirt his heart torn

There is a mother begging at your heeled feet her eyes drawn

 

There is a scramble to the pinnacle reaped sorrows won

There is the furnished and the varnished and the truth to pawn

There is the crux of life and for some it will never dawn

There is the veiled and the unveiled and religions that scorn

 

There is a Garden of Eden stolen for its ivory horn

There are the rivers and the forests and the mowed lawn

There are pretty stars that dazzle and over which we fawn

There is a Barbie doll pole dancing to the brainless brawn

 

Maybe I am a damn cynic maybe I just love to mourn

There is a grace out there and once upon a time it shone

 

Reviews

[~]

LOL :) Oh, I didn't know you had such a dirty mouth, Moon :) Geez, that title and explanation made me laugh! Moving on......I think " A garden of Eden stolen for its ivory horn" is so meaningful in so many ways. The ivory trade being one of the worst of all time. It is a fantastic analogy for the, yes, somewhat cynical viewpoint you have constructed here, but it is also warranted. This world is filled with so much just plain awful stuff and yet there is so much beauty here as well. And that is what we turn our eyes upward for, those galaxies that still shine from once upon a time ago. It's cool, Moon. I'm a damn cynic too. Maybe just more reality based than happy endings. C'mon, with all the awful crap going on, it is enough to give anyone a raging case of divine discontent. Great work on this :)

[linear]

Did I like it?
yes I did......

you write very well your thoughts are clear and concise....your execution is most perfect.....the rhyme divine

Poor Barbie.......is it all so useless, hopeless a monumental waste?

Enjoyed thank you :O)

[Alexandria Reece]

'There is the furnished and the varnished and the truth to pawn
There is the crux of life and for some it will never dawn'

I love the depth behind each line and the beauty of the way you lay out your craft. You're consistently wonderful Moon. This is my favourite of all of yours thus far... the meter is REALLY good, probably some of the best meter I've seen all year. The garden of Eden line is to die for! Yes, yes I just mean to say this is spectacular! You move me.

[Southern Cross]

I couldn't even quote my favorite line as the poem was filled with so many truths. Content was intense . One of my favorites . Thank you for your beautiful caring heart and keen observations of life.

[Cole Hayley]

Maybe I am a damn cynic maybe I just love to mourn

There is a grace out there and once upon a time it shone

WOW. what a line, what a closer. An amazing poem of course.

[John Phoenix Hutchinson..]

There is a Barbie doll pole dancing to the brainless brawn....

Love it!

[...]

Still does, I'm looking at it :)

[G!o]

Now this is the definition of a poem well written you take odd thoughts that people see and assume and you have enlightened them here amazingly. You really have a way with poetry and definitely good at it. This is a great poem.

[Heather Anne]

Stunning. I love the whole idea being drawn here.

[Nautili]

This is so contemplative. I like the cynical tone, it is perfect for this piece. I think another befitting title would be "Paradise Lost" , but, oh hell, that one is taken already!
Really solid work.