Oh Hell!

Did I say Damn, Oh Hell!

There are nights of radiant stars a million galaxies born

There are days that slip by unaccounted for they are gone

There is an unkempt boy in a tattered shirt his heart torn

There is a mother begging at your heeled feet her eyes drawn

 

There is a scramble to the pinnacle reaped sorrows won

There is the furnished and the varnished and the truth to pawn

There is the crux of life and for some it will never dawn

There is the veiled and the unveiled and religions that scorn

 

There is a Garden of Eden stolen for its ivory horn

There are the rivers and the forests and the mowed lawn

There are pretty stars that dazzle and over which we fawn

There is a Barbie doll pole dancing to the brainless brawn

 

Maybe I am a damn cynic maybe I just love to mourn

There is a grace out there and once upon a time it shone

 

Reviews

[~]

LOL :) Oh, I didn't know you had such a dirty mouth, Moon :) Geez, that title and explanation made me laugh! Moving on......I think " A garden of Eden stolen for its ivory horn" is so meaningful in so many ways. The ivory trade being one of the worst of all time. It is a fantastic analogy for the, yes, somewhat cynical viewpoint you have constructed here, but it is also warranted. This world is filled with so much just plain awful stuff and yet there is so much beauty here as well. And that is what we turn our eyes upward for, those galaxies that still shine from once upon a time ago. It's cool, Moon. I'm a damn cynic too. Maybe just more reality based than happy endings. C'mon, with all the awful crap going on, it is enough to give anyone a raging case of divine discontent. Great work on this :)

[sierrasparks91]

well done

[Andrew Poole]

No critique from me, just: Well done!

[quinfinn]

although this is an excellent write i don't feel like the world got more evil, rather
there are just many more people here and we are inherently evil with the capacity for good...pity is, more evil than good these days...or so it seems...anyhoo, very fine poem!

[RachelReaper]

The way I interpreted this, is that in today's society, there is a lot more evil going around then their used to be, which, I must say, I agree with. I can also say that maybe it is better to be cynical and skeptical than naive and ignorant. I love this poem just as much as your other ones :)

[Jaweena...Eileen Quinta..]

"There are nights of radiant stars a million galaxies born
There are days that slip by unaccounted for they are gone"
I have been sleeping out under the stars several times with my son, this description reminds me of that. I so enjoy being outside and sharing it with my children. Nature and the elements are amazing teachers. Great write!

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

Great poem about the state of the current state of the world Loved the line about the Garden of Eden stolen for its Ivory. Great write

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Oh, I know the Cynic well! This is a very intriguing piece...captivating an optimistic person (which I am)...I try to understand the negativism within a cynic's mind. You have expressed this in unique style, incorporating a bit of sense of humor, which I enjoyed. Cleverly written! Great write!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

this is too beautifully written to be hellish i like all the anecdotes and clever rhyming schemes, a very good job moon!

[emmajoy]

'Maybe I am a damn cynic maybei just love to mourn ~ There is a grace out there and once upon a time it shone' .. .. How true that is!

And how you've covered so many points in such fine meter I just don't but you have and have wonderfully well. Seems your awareness is really highlighted in this, your indignation quite justified but with a gentle and subtle hand.. great write.

[Antonio Valentino]

yes seriously what a, potty mouth! hahahha

just joking lol

yeah i know what you mean.. sometimes it seems like that place that once shone upon us is gone forever..

so what do we do..

we reinvent it, in our surroundings, and in ourselves.. just like time does..

oh yeah.. one last thing.. lemme know where Barbie is dancing.. my brain dried up a hundred years ago lol

great piece my friend.. :))