I didn't want to let you go

A poem I wrote a really long time ago (2008) about this guy I didn't even like.

You made me realize things about me I didn’t want to know. 
That’s why it pained me so bad when I told you, you had to go. 
I thought I didn’t love you but in the end I did. 
But if I had known this in the beginning I wouldn’t have did the things I did. 
You were so nice and I was so mean. 
In your eyes I was your queen. 
I cared for you, 
and still do. 
I love you so much, 
I need you.
All those things I really do regret. 
But you don’t understand I had to do that. 
How it started was an accident. 
What I did I didn’t mean it. 
Every second I’m waiting for your call. 
But after what I did I don’t deserve to hear your voice at all. 
I want to take it back so bad but I can’t. 
You are the wish I have that no one will grant. 
Your forgiveness is all that I want and need. 
Please, just please, call me.
I miss you so much and I know you’re mad.
But please talk to me, your love was all I had. 
When I hang around people I put on a face that’s plastic. 
But I need to talk to you before I do something drastic. 
If you’re out there I just want you to know. 
That I love you and I didn't want to let you go.