The clock tower

This one's for having no choice in something to come, and to just have to wait till it happens

The man sits up on the tower,

Watching time pass by,

Ever dreading the fateful hour,

That he will surely die.

 

As he sits, upon the hand,

Too soon to bring his demise.

He tries again to make a plan,

Despite all the ones he tries.

 

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock,

The time keeps going past.

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock,

No longer will he last.

 

He cannot find another way,

He readies for his fate,

Upon the ground he soon will lay,

The ambulance too late.

 

5 minutes later,

The hand moves more,

His fear is greater,

Than ever before.

 

He knows he is done.

He knows he will fall.

There’s no where to run.

No rescue to call.

 

There are things he can try,

While he sits there and waits.

But they all can’t deny,

His unfortunate fate.

 

As he sits on the hand,

Of the old clock tower,

He waits for his planned,

And so deadly hour.

 

The hands almost there,

As he holds on real tight,

For he’ll fall through the air,

At twelve o’clock tonight.

 

 

Seconds left, the time moves on,

He says his last goodbyes,

The life he had, is to be gone,

On the hour that he dies.

 

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock,

The time keeps going past.

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock,

No longer will he last.

 

The seconds race, His fingers slip,

He’s slipping from the clock.

The struck twelve, he loses grip,

Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock.

Reviews

[cheeeeese]

Wow, very suspenseful piece and I couldn't stop reading. This is really a wonderful piece, and very enjoyable, as if I was in a 5-minute movie cinema. Very impressed with this piece, loved it so much.

[Maria P]

This is one of those pieces that makes you think. Nicely written, good flow.

[Teela Bryant]

very nicely done. I like the use of the clock in talking about life and death.

Very well written. Whenever I think about death, I hope that it doesn't come too soon for me. Some people dread it, but others may be relieved when it finally comes. I doubt that I would want to live past 100 years old. Things may become tiresome.

[JRB]

It seems that our clocks, runs at their own pace, and when our time is up, and to wonder, as to when it will or even more to wait for it, often makes the clock seem to run faster and our existence slower. Nicley done.
Jan/Uisiom

[Lydia Wegner]

This would make an excellent song. Do make it into one, please, and post it where we can hear it.

[imm's place]

excellently presented a powerful story and wonderfully presented, mary

[Laylani Mullane]

This flowed very well and the rhyming was excellent. I felt the urgent, helplessness and panic and you wrote it in such a way that I almost felt as if I was there with the character, just waiting for the inevitable with no way to prevent it. Very good job, very good.

[X]

i'm impressed.
nice job with the rhyming pattern.
it really suits it.
it seems that you came up with this pretty easily.

it's a very nice piece of work.
=]
xoxo.
monica.

[Jon]

Loved this - a truly original idea that creates such a sence of panic and urgency, but combines with great futility and almost the acceptance that its realisation brings.

"He knows he is done.

He knows he will fall.

There's no where to run.

No rescue to call."

That realisation is what made the piece so gripping for me - great stuff ;)