Guraded (2004)

Sitting with a sword across my arms in a damp dark basement on a stormy night I wrote what came to mind.

As I sit in protection

of whatever it is I guard

I realize if a person were to approach me

with a knife to my throat

I wouldn't fear

I'd ask for them to hand my heart to me on a silver platter to give to my lord

I then think on this thought

and realize I have no care for what I shield-

my soul, my heart

I look about me, plotting my death-

"Is that rope from the ceiling there for me?"

But if I am here, guarding what no one can see

I must still care, somewhere deep inside me

I build this wall around me

And a cold-hearted b***h is all you see

When YOU'RE the one that caused it, YOU'RE the one that hurt me

And now, though you're gone, you affect me everyday

My new love suffers to see me this way

And all of it is at YOU'RE dismay!

Why couldn't you kill me?

Why couldn't you die?

Why must you live to torture my inside?

Why can't you LEAVE ME BE?!

Too good for words

But pain for silence-

Your gift to me.