I'm Home

I like this story so much i just couldn't stop

Stepping out of the teleportation device and stepping out on the ground was the best feeling in the world. I felt something in my chest it was kind of a drum sound. I put my hand on my chest and realized it was my heart. This was no dream this was a wish come true. I was home. We walked around for a while I looked to the left and stopped dead in my tracks. I saw such a wonderful site that made my heart race. I knew it was true it was Valerie. I ran toward her ignoring Derick's warning. But, I stopped dead in my tracks when i saw a man come out of the house and kiss her. I turned to the side tears running down my cheeks. I walked away slowly and looked back one last time. I thought that even though I'm not the one doing it I'm glad that she is happy. Even though its hard to walk away with Derick helping me it was easier. We went to a hotel and I laid down in the bed next to Dericks'. With tears rolling down and Derick trying his hardest to make me feel better I eventually feel back asleep. The darkness that feel over my eyes some how comforted me. I didn't feel anything but peace at that moment. The next day I woke up completely oblivious to what happened. It was a good thing too. Well we started our mission. We knew the terrorist were a military group so we went to join the army. Even though we were alive and couldn't do what we did in Heaven we were still just as good as a partnership as ever. We quickly became the talk of the town and military. Still being such a great sniper and infantry men made it all to easy to get in. Now all we had to do was find some intel on the men who were gonna end the world.

Author's Note

Im sorry for grammer and if you dnt like this part im sorry.
The emotion thing was put in there cuz i thought i lacked it a little too much

Reviews

[Bridget Mcmaken]

wow this chapter is awesome!! very cool work!

[Calypso]

Very good. I will have to read more beacuse sharting in the middle never helps. Haha. Anyways good job and I wish you happy writing.

[Luna Northstar]

Nice!!! I'm excited. Its getting very interesting.... i can't wait to read more :)

[JENY]

Lovely way of putting things down…..
But…I feel incompleteness….when I finished reading….
Actually….I didn’t get the theme…
May be …I am wrong…in comprehending….what you wrote…
Beginning of story was fantastic….
But dint feel the same at the end….
I like your way of writing...really
Ok…see you again…

[Prateeksha Khot]

never mind the grammar, this indeed was a great interesting read

[Bexfinch]

i really liked it the evil forces attacking heaven was really origanal i liked how you caught my attention and kept it and sorry this review was sooooo late

[Nicole]

i really liked it ^_^ it was a good focus on what the guy was feeling but he was able to move past it and still do good things.

[zappy]

its pretty cool cody i really like it

[R.S. Wilder]

Like you said, you need to watch for punctuation. Be careful not to be redundant by paraphrasing that was already said as well, but the idea of the story is a very good one, and it holds a lot of potential. Good job.