Battle

Hope its good

Stepping through the light and again seeing the other end. It's beautiful. Only for a second. The skies which were once beautiful and happy are now blacker than a moonless night. The once chirping birds are now dead and nothing but bones on the ground. The once beautiful and lushes fields of soft green grass are now barren lands filled with nothing dread. Out in the far field all i saw was what seemed to be a shadow getting closer. This shadow was getting closer. I gripped my sword ready for the worse. I looked out and what i saw was horrifying. This creatures holding spears, swords, and wearing much better armor were gruesome looking. Their faces look torn and ripped. Their bodies looking just as bad if not worse. Their muscles were pulsing and squirting blood at the same time. I drew my bow and fired. Ten arrows gone and ten shadows dropped. Although the rest just got faster. Then another shadow appeared this time it was enemy arrows. This shadow was unthinkable. I ran straight toward the enemy, straight toward the arrows, put my faith in God and hoped for the best. My sword now drawn from the sheath seeming to weigh nothing. My feet seeming to pick up speed. I drew one last breath and slashed. Down went the first creature, then another and another. I could do no wrong. The surrounded me in a complete circle coming from all angles. Swinging their blades and thrusting their spears. Dodge after dodge. Block after block. The sword almost doing this on its own. Feeling so good. I stop for a second and then pick up where i left of. Slash, slash, slash down go three more. I start to get fancy jumping and slashing. Spinning in a circle slashing at the ground and chopping of the enemies feet. It was seeming to easy. Then came the biggest shadow of them all. It was amazing to look at and at the same time it was ugly. I slashed and fought the rest leaving tattered and bloody bodies all over. This one though big was barely taller than me. Our blades meet. The clang ringing in my ears. The strength of this one fighter is amazing. We seem to be evenly matched until we hit me with his shield. I ran not in fear but so that i can draw my bow. And i did i drew my bow and was at the ready. We ran literally beside each other only four feet apart and it was amazing. Our arrows seemed to meet in the air and fight over who belonged and who didn't neither arrow ever won. So we kept on. Our speed getting greater with every step. I pull my sword jump back and then lunge forward. My speed............................. was better with no time to react the mighty beast finally fell to the ground. I saw yet another light and stepped through ready for the test.

Reviews

[Bridget Mcmaken]

wow I really like this chapter. I love it, this is very nice work. I can't seem to stop reading it.

[Paris France]

I liked this chapter, lots of action and tension. You also used very good descriptive detail, really well done. I am curious to see what the next test will be : )

[Katie]

Well there is more detail I will give you that, there are still some technical issues with your story. You use the phrase "the once...." too many times at the start.

"The once chirping birds are now dead and nothing but bones on the ground"
could become
"The bones and bodies of the birds that used to chip happily laced the ground."
at least something to that effect.

OR

"The once beautiful and lushes fields of soft green grass are now barren lands filled with nothing dread."
could read something like:
"The beautiful fields of soft green grass have turned to barran lands filled with nothing but dread"

"Out in the far field all i saw was what seemed to be a shadow getting closer. This shadow was getting closer."

This is a little bit redundant, if you said it seemed to be getting closer, to say it IS getting closer right after is kind of pointless.

"Far out in the field all I could see was, what appeared to be, a dark shadow approaching" Or something like that may be better.

"Ready for the worse" Should be "ready for the worst" thats a gramatical one.

Now Like I said it is good that you are adding more description, however many, not all, but many of the you are using are very generic ones. Adding detail to a story is more then just adding more descriptive words. It's also in the way you present the ideas, if that makes any sense. You can message me if you want me to find an example of what I mean for you, otherwise I will just leave it at that.
You have a couple more redundant sentences, but I will leave you to find those and edit them.
And although I originally planned to point out the grammar mistakes, there really are still too many of them for that to be worth my while to do. You also have a lot of spelling mistakes as well. Or more, using the wrong word. Probably from not paying too close attention to what the spell check was telling you to fix. Not to worry it happens to all of us. Just read over after spell checking again to look for it and that should solve that problem.
You are also switching tenses around again. A common mistake, but one to watch out for to be sure.

[Luna Northstar]

Whoa, onto the next chapter!

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

why do you leave me wanting to read more!!!! agh!!!!!