How it starts.

First chapter

I sit there on my knees with blood running down my face, I'm not sure what's going on. I watch in horror as battle buddies, friends and brothers die side by side or alone. I'm not sure what I can do so I sit and watch. How could this happen? This isn't what I signed up for. As I watch the hot lead pierce more and more of my brothers bodies I feel a rage, a combination of hatred and anger swelling up inside me. I do what I was trained to do I pick up my rifle and aim down my sights and fire at any moving target I see. The anger builds as more brothers die, a sea roaring with anger as a hurricane passes by. Never truly relaxed but made to think so. I feel the hot lead piercing my body. The heat isn't felt until I look at the wound. Nothing truly hurts unless you look at the scars it makes. I fall back down to my knees and then flat on my stomach. Just army eyes begin to close another brother falls with me and we die together.
I suddenly wake up in my room with sweat pouring into my eyes making me blink them rapidly. That had all been a dream or was it a memory? After so long the days turn into weeks which turn into months. The days just see to run along together and I forget what day it is. That's what being the army is all about. We live we dream we fit.

Author's Note

Rough draft

Reviews

[My-two-lives]

Not bad, i liked the amount of description, and even for a rouge draft it is well composed.
it has a nice structure to it, and as far as im aware, the only things even in need remotely is the odd rare gramatical error, but as you stated, this is a first draft so gramatical errors don't really count for anything.
i look forward to seeing more of this story.

[A. H. Pinley]

With some work, rewording and added to this can be a solid intro to a book. Thank you for your service! Marines 1999-2003

[Cody Wiggins]

Awesome this story hopefully captures what it means to be a soldier.