my breath

writing so many days later, nothing to say about it, it is alike my other writings

when i sleep, dream come

when i dream, you come 

but when you come in my memory 

i can't, i can't sleep

when clouds float, i see it

when it rain, i get wet

but i feel pain, because

i miss, miss your presence

when i close my eyes, i see you

when i open it, i want to see you

you are my breath, i can't stop it

so indeed i need you.

Author's Note

is it?

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

Perhaps you think this is like your other writings but I suggest that they are all different. Unless the words are exactly alike, in exactly the same order then no; it is not the same as your other work. This is a purple-tinged logistic penrose - a diagram of the heart's desire expressed as a fundamental law of nature and an autonomic function of the spirit, "...you are my breath, i can't stop it so indeed i need you" The fruit falls from the tree and strikes the ground but never in the same place or the same way twice; yet always with a thud of absolute certainty that it has followed its nature. As you have here in this poem. A laurel for your effort de_maruf.

[de_maruf]

thanks for the fantastic analysis

[Terohime]

Oh the love that i feel in this poem, I love it, well written ^_^

[Soul Fire]

A poem that describes what it is like to be in love and loose it well done

[Calibaster]

good? no. Great? Definitely! Great job!!!

[Deepankar]

Great one...... The short lines are real piercing.... Its raw and beautiful

[Lady of the Lake]

What a lovely poem! You're really good at expressing emotions through poetry :)
Keep up the good work! :)

[Deron Alexis]

very well done this was very nice very expressive of love and the desire to see that person agsin

[Mark]

I have felt that longing and know this pain. Well expressed my friend.

[de_maruf]

thanks

[amarlaksh]

Good one de_maruf the lines are pretty good and raw

[Salar Majak]

it's beautifuly peaceful. i love it, it's so adorale, and the way you put the words was amazin, well done :)

[de_maruf]

thanks