not a story

I don't think it as a story

A tired man came home from his work.
His 5 year old son was waiting for him at the door.

Son: Dad, may I ask you a question ?
Dad- yeah
Son: Dad, how much you earn in an hour?
Dad: that's not your business.
Son: please tel me.
Dad: 10 $ per hour.
Son: dad, may I please borrow 5 $ ?

Dad got angry and sent his son to his bed.
The little boy went to the room 'n shut the door.

After short time, man got calm 'n
he went to kid's room 'n said
Sorry for being so hard. Here's your 5 $ u asked for.

Kid smiled- ohhh... Thank you so much daddy
Then boy took out some coins he had kept under the pillow,
he counted them 'n said

"Dad, I have 10 $ now.
Can I buy an hour of your time ?
Please come home early tomorrow.
I would like to have dinner with you."

Reviews

[Lina Grey]

that's precious! it's so important to make time for family, and kids have the sweetest ways of dealing with hardship. I disagree with the previous comments concerning your grammar. In poetry, such rules are mere suggestions anyway. I think the way you set it up makes it more like a little kid, how he'd speak and act. Makes it more relatable to the kid's standpoint. Great job :)

[khalid]

both dad and kid are excused, hard life!

[Green]

I must agree with some of the earlier reviews. Proper grammar is important when writing a story. While I can understand playing around with the wording and such when the little boy is talking to provide characterization it isn't really necessary anywhere else.
And also, I do agree that the story isn't 100% original but then again, what story is really. You did a great job telling it in your own way and that's admirable in itself. Good job.

[Arielle Ann]

well I have read a similar story before.so I think this one is not 100% original, and wc is a place for original creativity! I hope you will explore your creative side more here.and thanks for sharing a sweet story.all the best!

[Admiral Kirk]

That's so sweet. :)

[JosephineDevolle]

Excellent, thankyou for sharing, there are so many children with the same wish, but not so many that are quite that intelligent.

[Gregoire William Randel..]

Simple, but touching.
I love it! But here is my opinion.
When you write something like this, I prefer that people use proper English such as "I am" instead of "I'm"; "and" instead of "n".
I hope you can keep up your nice work.
Have a good day!

[de_maruf]

thanks for your opinion

[Gregoire William Randell]

No problem. Looking forward to reading more of your stories!

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Such a great piece with the twist at the end! Just lovely. Great job.

[Phillitup]

Such an adorable story! :)

[Tunder]

Very lovely and very sweet! excellent write, de_maruf!