Oliver's Problem

Picture Book

Oliver�s Problem
Draft 2 post critique
Word count 1,519
By Michael A. Humphreys
Oliver was a regular kind of kid. He had a regular mom, and dad, and a regular little sister too. They all lived in a regular kind of house in a regular little town. But Oliver had a problem. A big problem! Oliver�s room was too small! His desk was too small! His bed was even too small! Something had to be done!
        Oliver sat down on his bed and thought and thought. He could think of nothing that would solve this problem. Oliver decided to talk to his mom. Maybe she would know what to do.
�Mom, MOM!�
�Mom, I have a problem. My bed is too small. My closet is too small. My desk is too small. Mom, My room is just too, too, small!�
Oliver�s mom was surprised. She could tell that Oliver was upset. Something did indeed need to be done.
�Let�s think about this, Oliver,� she said. So, Oliver and his mom sat down to think of a solution to his problem.
They thought and thought. Finally, Oliver�s mom had an idea!
�Come on Oliver. Let�s go to the garage.� As Oliver followed his mom to the garage he thought,� What has she thought of that will make my room larger?� Oliver�s mom ran straight to the cupboard that held all of Oliver�s sports equipment. When she opened the door, there were Oliver�s bats and gloves, his favorite football and shoulder pads, and his hockey stuff too.
Oliver�s mom said, � This is going to be tricky Oliver, but with some luck, a very smart boy like you, and the help of Dad and your sister, we might just pull this off.�
Then, Oliver couldn�t believe what his mom told him to do!
�Oliver�, she said �this is what you must do to solve your problem.� �All of your sports equipment has to be moved into your closet.�
�Mom,� Oliver said, �how will that help make my room larger?�
�Trust me Oliver.� his mom said with a confident look on her face. �This will help solve your problem.�
So Oliver gathered all of his sports equipment and moved it into his closet.
�Now what Mom?� Oliver looked at his mom as he leaned against the closet door that he had barely gotten closed.
Oliver�s mom said, �Let�s wait until tomorrow and see what happens.�
        The next morning, Oliver could tell things would not be easy. He would have to move all of his sports equipment out of the closet just to get his clothes.
        Out came the bats and gloves. Out came the football and shoulder pads, and out came the hockey stuff too.
        �Whew!�
Oliver got dressed and then� back went the hockey stuff, back went the shoulder pads and football then, barely, Oliver got the bats and gloves back in the closet, and barely� it was� everything� he could� do� Oliver got the closet door closed.
        �Whew!!�
        �This is not working,� thought Oliver. �Things are worse now. �
        �Wait a sec,� Oliver said to himself. �Today is Saturday and Dad is home. Mom said he might be able to help me!� And after all it was a very BIG problem! So Oliver went to find his dad and ask him to help.
        Oliver found his dad gardening in his rose bed. Oliver ran up to his dad and told him what had happened the day before. He told him things were worse now, and what should he do to solve his problem.
        �Hmmm� Yes Oliver�, his dad said, �Your mom told me about your problem. We should think about what you have done so far. We will see if we can come up with a better solution.�
        So Oliver and his dad sat down right there in the rose bed, and thought, and thought, and thought.
        After a long time, Oliver�s dad jumped up and said, �Oliver, your mom was right. She just didn�t go quite far enough. Your problem is far worse than she thought. Follow me!� Oliver�s dad and Oliver marched off toward the house.
        When they got inside, Oliver�s dad marched right up to his huge Megawatt television set, and gave Oliver a determined look. �Oliver this is what we must do to solve your problem. We have to move the television into your room.�
        �Of course, the big chair I sit in and your mom�s rocking chair must also be moved in.�
        Oliver was surprised. �But Dad, this will make things worse,�.
        As Oliver said that, his little sister, Hannah, came into the room. �What will make what worse?� she asked.
        Oliver�s dad explained Oliver�s problem to Hannah and asked if she would like to help Oliver solve his problem.
        �Yes, oh yes, I would like to help. What can I do?� she asked, as she jumped up and down.
        Oliver�s dad thought for a moment, and then said, �Hannah, you like to play with your great big dollhouse, and all of your dolls.�
        �And I love all of my bears too!� Hannah shouted.
        �Ok!� Dad said with a broad smile. �To help solve Oliver�s problem, Hannah, bring your big dollhouse, and all of your dolls and bears and all of the furniture that goes with them into Oliver�s room. That will help.�
        By this time Oliver was speechless. He could only stand in the middle of the room and say, �But� but� but�� as his dad started moving chairs, and his sister started moving dolls and bears.
        On Saturday afternoons Oliver�s family loved to watch a movie and have snacks, and be together.
        By the time Hannah and Oliver�s dad finished moving everything into Oliver�s room, it was time for the movie and Oliver�s mom had the snacks ready. When she came from the kitchen, she was carrying the biggest tray of snacks Oliver had ever seen! There were piles of popcorn, a smorgasbord of sandwiches, sodas and milk, and some things Oliver could not identify. What are whigities anyway?
        They all pushed and shoved and squeezed into Oliver�s room which had no spare space whatsoever! There were dolls and bears all over Oliver�s desk. They were piled on top of everything! Hannah�s big doll house was right in the middle of Oliver�s bed. There were tables, and chairs, and dressers, bureaus, and sofas, and dolls and bears EVERYWHERE!!!
        The only place for Oliver was far, far back in the very corner at the head of the bed on top of his pillows.
        As everyone else watched the movie, and laughed, and ate snacks, and talked and played with dolls and bears, Oliver sat in the corner, at the head of the bed, on top of his pillows, and thought!
        This is not working, thought Oliver. The longer he sat there, the more upset Oliver got.
THIS IS JUST NOT WORKING!!
        That is when Oliver jumped up and as loud as he could, at the top of his lungs, he shouted, �HOLD IT EVERYONE, HOLD IT FOR ONE MINUTE PLEASE!�
        Everyone stopped and looked at Oliver. His dad turned off the television, Hannah stopped playing with her dolls and bears, and Oliver�s mom put down the snack she was eating, and they all turned to Oliver.
        �What is it Oliver?� Oliver�s mom asked.
        Oliver thought for a bit, and then he told them, �Mom, Dad, Hannah, I know you are trying to help, but this is worse than I ever could have imagined. I want to go back to the way things were. I will just have to live in a small room.�
        Oliver was very disappointed. Oliver�s mom, and dad, and little sister were all disappointed too. Oliver�s mom looked at Oliver�s dad and Oliver�s dad looked at Hannah, and everyone looked at Oliver. �Oliver, we are sorry we couldn�t help with your problem,� said his mom.
        They all squeezed and pushed to get out of Oliver�s room, then helped Oliver move everything back to where it was before. Back to the way things were when Oliver discovered his problem.
        Oliver sat on his bed that night and was thinking about how everyone had tried to help him with his problem. He thought about how nothing had worked, and everything had just gotten worse and worse.
        As Oliver thought, he looked around at his room. It had been put back exactly how it was before. Oliver walked over to his closet and opened the door. Everything was neat, everything was in its place, and it all just fit.
        Oliver turned around and looked at the rest of his room. His desk was all neat and orderly and everything was just right. Everything just fit. Oliver looked at his bed. Yes, even his bed fit Oliver just right.
        Oliver crawled into his just right bed and fell asleep as he thought about everything that had happened trying to solve his problem.
        When Oliver woke the next morning he sat up in his just right bed and looked around his just right room.
        Oliver could not believe how large it had become.
        Oliver�s problem was solved.

Reviews

[Windy]

LOL, Reverse phsycology(sp) perhaps?? Good story, need to keep it and read it to my grandkids when they are a little older. Just a couple suggestions, at the beginning it was a little confusing to see where the story started, think it was probably supposed to be space there(?) Kind of the same thing throughout except instead of spaces paragraphs. Otherwise, you wrote a good story with good images. ;)