Krisja sat dejectedly in the back seat of the minivan, contemplating fate.
"Why," she asked herself, "is fate so cruel?" her inner voice answered inside her head, "it isn't only fate you know..." she pushed the thought away, stuffing it into a deep, dark corner of her brain and looked out the window again.
Two days. She had managed to keep the last foster home for two days. "the shortest time yet, a new record." her brain whispered malevolently. Krisja wished she could beat up her thoughts.
As she concentrated on the scene outside, she spotted a quaint farm house up the road. Another house, another "family", another life she wished she could, but couldn't grasp to make her own.
She glanced at the family services agent that was driving her to the next home. Not really a home but.... He was called Karsh Clemments; he was a tall, lean man with salt and pepper hair and thick black rimmed glasses. She imagined that he had once been handsome, and he still looked a little so, but time had robbed him of that. His eyes sparkled from behind his glasses, but in a sad way that made it apparent he had seen much sadness and suffering. He was also sarcastic, and Krisja found his humor entertaining. Karsh had been Krisja's "agent" since she had lost her parents three years ago.
"We're almost there!" Karsh said cheerfully.
"Huzzah." Krisja replied sarcastically.
Karsh chuckled and pointed to the house that was drawing nearer. "This will be a wonderful place for you to stay. I myself would be thrilled!" Karsh tried to sound sincere, but his sarcastic tendencies made it come out the wrong way.
Krisja rolled her eyes and smiled.
The car stopped in front of the whitewash farm house and Karsh opened the door for Krisja. She stepped out, "accidentally" stepping on his foot. He smiled, despite the pain. It was a little game they played. Every time he dropped her off, she did something for him to remember her by. Every time he picked her up, which was often, he would do something to her, as punishment for the thing that she did the last time he had dropped her off. It was a complicated game, and sort of malicious, but they played it anyways, hoping that this time would be the last time.
They exchanged sad smiles, full of hope. "I want you to behave yourself, understand?"
"Yes sir." she nodded, even though she would probably be seeing him very, very soon.
Krisja put on a false smile to cover up her apprehension, and prepared herself for whatever was going to happen next.
I thought this was pretty good, I loved the bginning but lost intrest as it went on... sorry! It jsut sounded like so many other books I have read with foster kids in it... try spicing it up a little, bring something new to the table! :) Good luck! But it was pretty good for a first write on here
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its written in a good way, you explain well, i like the details, the topic is a bit boring, because i have read things that are pretty similar, i think if you would write about something more original you would come a long way. you are good at writing. i like the choice of words, i like how you quote things:
They exchanged sad smiles, full of hope. "I want you to behave yourself, understand?"
"Yes sir." she nodded, even though she would probably be seeing him very, very soon.
good practice story/book though. keep on writing! and thank you for sharing ^_^
The is a good story, but it seems to me that this is an overview of this part of the story because you seem to go through it quickly, instead of vividly telling as much of the story to help us, the reader, connect to Krisja, the main character of the story at this point.
I thought this was pretty good, I loved the bginning but lost intrest as it went on... sorry! It jsut sounded like so many other books I have read with foster kids in it... try spicing it up a little, bring something new to the table! :) Good luck! But it was pretty good for a first write on here