Where Do Balloons Go?

A Story by Lyzabeth

Remember that dream I once told you about? When the sun kissed the sky? And the clouds hung in the air like balloons? That's where I saw you. Know how Lorraine saw Bullet in a moment she dreams of.

Dear Bullet

Remember that dream I once told you about? When the sun kissed the sky? And the clouds hung in the air like balloons? That's where I saw you. Your blue eyes glistened with the sunlight as it touched your skin. You had a very bright smile, very rare for a boy to have. Your hair was so black and it bounced as the wind whispered behind you. It seemed like I heard a soft voice, hummed the melodies, a very sweet melody. You were smiling as you wave to your friends behind me and I looked back to see if who your friends were.

It was a fair afternoon. I went to the coffee shop in front of our school to meet with my friend Janica.
It's a big place where most of the popular students hang out, the socialites. I'm not saying I'm popular, I'm just saying I hang out there, me and Janica always hang out there, not to mention her boyfriend, Alex, who's always around her. Janica's cute and funny, I like her so much.
Janica and I were in the same theater guild for almost three years. We're not classmates or anything, we just became friends. The other members loved our tandem, they said it's because we're both very funny.
We were sitting on the outer left corner of the coffee shop; the best spot, fresh air, nice shade and we can see everyone who's coming. That's our spot, no one sits there except us, it's not like they're afraid to sit there or something. We just respect each other's places.
It's a red round table, sitting beside me was Janica, In front of me was Alex, then Jasmine on my right. Jasmine is also within our friendship circle, she never runs out of boys, no doubt, she's pretty and sexy.

It was that afternoon when I noticed him, the guy with blue eyes. I was turning around to see if to whom is the wave for, when Janica's face interrupted me.
"I actually don't understand, you're saying that you just woke up and found out that you can't contact him anymore?" Janica asked in confusion "no one does that" she added.
"I told you Janica, all I know is that we were supposed to see each other that day and he never came. I waited for his text but it's been a week and I really--"
I stopped when I noticed that my cigarette box was not there anymore.
"Hey Jasmine just give me back my cigarette" I said sounding so sure about where it was.
"What? I thought you were holding it." Jasmine answered. She sounded so surprised. "Don't give me attitude Lorraine, how could I give back something I never took?" Jasmine added.
"I just placed it on the table beside my coffee and--"
I stopped when I saw it moving towards my coffee. I slowly moved my head to the right to see if whose fingers pushed my cigarette box and to my surprise it was him; the guy with blue eyes.
His cheeks were burning red as if he mistaken it for something, he can't even look straight at me.
"I'm really sorry, I thought it was Alex's" he explained.
I was surprised with his voice it sounded so cool, like someone gave me a gust of cool wind near my ears.
They all laughed and Alex stood up to give him a hug.
"Hey Bullet! Nice to see you again. Have you finished your enrollment?" Alex sounded so excited.
Now I get it, he was the guy Alex told us about, his grade school friend who's going to transfer in our school this year, Bullet.
Bullet smiled at Alex and said "Yes I am, hey I'm really sorry about the--"
I cut him short "Oh, it's fine" I answered looking away from him and back to Janica "Where was I?" I asked.
"I'm really sorry I already took one and I lighted it I can't give it back, if you want I can buy you--" Bullet insisted.
"I said it's fine" I answered in a loud voice.
I actually sounded too harsh, maybe it's because my 5-year boyfriend seemed to vanish in thin air. I actually don't have any clue if where he is or any idea if he’s hiding from me or what. I looked at him and his cheeks gone redder.
"You can take more sticks if you want, it's for everyone" I said in a calm voice.

I don't want to sound rude, but it's not my fault that he's stupid. I saw him taking 3 more cigarettes, and then I smiled.

Balloons To Heaven

Misery is the new euphoria, an aching heart is better priced than a happy one.
In this world you are loved for your pain, the more you're hurt, the more you're loved.

I was sitting on the edge of a bed with red rose petals and white candles around me. I can feel the warmth from the heat that slowly melted the candles.
I heard the water droplets from the shower. I turned around to see who was inside the bathroom.
The bathroom door was open. I can see the silhouette of a man through the shower curtain.
I got up and walked towards him. I grabbed the end of the yellow curtain to see if who's on the other side.
Suddenly the guy wrapped his arms around me. It was my boyfriend. Tears fell down my eyes. He slowly brushed his fingertips through my hair. The shower kept on pouring warm water upon our skin.
He kissed me and I opened my mouth as he touches my tongue with his. He turned me around facing the bathroom walls as he slowly touched my stomach moving it lower and lower to my thighs.
He spread my legs wide open. I can't see him but I can feel his lips running through my back and the irresistible pleasure he's giving me. Then I closed my eyes to let him.

I opened my eyes with the sound of the alarm. I reached out for my phone. It's 6 A.M and no message from him.
Better stick to my dreams. I thought to myself.
Everyday seemed to be a nail pinching through my heart, as I open my eyes every morning expecting to have a message from my boyfriend, but I had none. Not even once, not even at all.
I don't understand. Was it something I've done? Or something I have not? All I know is that I'm hurt. And I don't want to feel like this anymore.
I almost spent two weeks going to school at 7:30 A.M. and hang out by the cafe at 8:30 A.M. I have the worst class schedule this semester; I have one subject in the morning and a lot in the afternoon. Me and my friends always hang out by the cafe. They were trying to make me happy without my boyfriend.

Another boring morning without a message from him. I was stirring my coffee when I heard my phone beep.
I felt the warmth around my body, I felt so nervous and excited. My heart was beating fast, as if it's in a race with my fingers that was crawling inside my bag to get my phone.
"It's mine" a guy behind me said.
I looked around to see who it was. And unfortunately it was Bullet, he's mere presence pissed me off, maybe it's just because I have my own problem and he found it funny.
It's been two weeks that we both spent 3 hours together at the cafe. He became part of our friendship circle and he quite became popular within two weeks. No doubt, he's charming. But doesn't change the fact that he thought too high of himself. Two weeks ago, the first day of school to be exact, he was not wearing his uniform. He just came from behind while I'm waiting for my cup of coffee, that's when we learned that we have similar morning class schedule. But the thing is, when I asked him why he's not wearing his uniform he just bragged about his family and there connections. He said that's why he can wear whatever he wants.
On the next day, he started wearing his uniform. I doubt if he was able to enter the campus on his civilian clothes on the first day of school. But I don't care. Serves him right.
Every 8:30 A.M. me and Bullet are already at the cafe, the others arrive at 11:30 A.M or in the afternoon. That’s why we seemed to know each other well but it doesn't mean I like it, it is better this way than spending my time alone thinking of the pain I have.

"It's my message, not your boyfriend's" Bullet said then took a sip from the coffee he's holding, he always had a cute smile but I don't care. Why does he have to tease me every minute he's around?
I gave him a sarcastic smile and reached for my coffee which was not there anymore.
"Put it down Bullet, we should not drink what's not ours" I sounded so pissed at him.
"I will, if you just give me a smile" he answered.
"I'll buy a new one then" I said then I went to the counter.
I took my coffee and went back to the table, Bullet was shuffling cards on the table.
"Hey it's not allowed here" I said and took a sip on my new and Bullet-saliva free coffee.
"If we get caught, but were not" he replied "what card games do you know?"
"Everything" I said.
"Okay then let's play poker" he answered and gave me his charming smile.
I did not hesitate to play, I was so bored and it was a great idea until I realized I was enjoying our game. He seemed to be enjoying it as well. He was smiling while his eyes were sparkling as the light reaches his bright skin, and the wind was whistling around my head and blows through his hair--
and a hand took the deck Bullet's shuffling. I looked up to see who it was.
We forgot to look out for the security guard. Now he got the cards.
We were both looking at him as he walks away with Bullet's cards.
"I'm sorry" I said.
He looked at me with wonder then smirked. I wasn't able to prevent myself from laughing until we both laughed out loud to what happened to his deck of cards.
"Now I know why you don't laugh" Bullet said.
I looked at him in wonder while opening the jar to add some sugar in my coffee.
"Because you look so ugly when you smile" he added then laughed "no, I mean you look ugly normally but you look uglier when you laugh. Do you really open your mouth that big?"
I threw him the sugar on my spoon. His nose twitched and we laughed at the moment.
I took a deep breath.
"The clouds look like balloons hung on the sky" I said while looking at the sky. "I dream of finding my destiny on that day" I sighed "when the sun kissed the sky, and the clouds hung on the air like balloons. I wonder where do balloons go? Someday I want to let go of a 12 colorful balloons in the air and see if they'll soar freely to heaven or fall down to the ground where they came from" I looked at him and smiled.
"That's ridiculous" he answered
"Yeah, maybe it is" I looked down and smiled.
After those two weeks, it was only today that I learned to make myself happy. I enjoyed every single moment after that day. Bullet taught me that there are still a lot of things to be happy about.

It was a cloudy morning, Bullet was dying to get my phone back because he forgot to log out his Instagram account on my phone a few minutes ago and I was thinking of something very funny to post using his account.
I was laughing while he was trying to get my phone in my hands.
His arms were wrapped around me while I was trying to remove it to keep it away from my phone.
"Hey" Jasmine said and sat on the chair in front of us.
Bullet removed his arms and sat on the chair next to me.
Jasmine gave us the teasing look "I never knew, how long have you been dating?" she asked.
"What?" I said. I was shocked. "No it's not what you think" I defended myself. "I have a boyfriend and I'll wait for him, I'm not that kind of--"
"Yeah I thought so." Jasmine said while checking her face on her mirror.
Why did I say that? I'll wait for my boyfriend? I was so tensed I never meant that. Bullet was amazing and I like him. I mean I think I like him.
I started to take back what I said "I mean--"
"Yes 'course she will" Bullet interrupted.
No I'm sorry it's not what you thought I really like you Bullet. These words were just in my head waiting to be spilled out but I don't know what to say or how to say what I really felt that moment.
"And what were you thinking Jasmine? I'll never think of having Lorraine as my girlfriend. She's far better being my--" he stopped and looked at me. I was looking back at him, waiting for the word that he's going to say. "Friend" Bullet added.
Friend? Far better being a friend? I really don't know what to do.
I can hear the clock ticking.
I can feel the sweat flowing from my forehead.
My heart is rapidly pumping and I feel so warm.
Good thing I never said something so stupid. Why did I ever think of liking him?
"Is it Lorraine?" Jasmine asked.
I looked at her and said "of course" I smiled at her.
"So how about we date?" Jasmine asked Bullet.
"Why not?" Bullet answered.
I can hear there conversation fading as I was looking down. Why did I ever think that he'd like me? He was such a jerk. I was so stupid. He was no good at all. It was just a game of cards that made me laugh not him.
I took my black sling bag and stood up.
"I think I'll go" I said trying to build up a happy face to show them.
"Wait, where are you going?" Bullet asked.
How dare him ask me? I mean, he cares? He's not the boss of me. He's so insensitive. I hate him, he taught me how to be happy and he took it all away.
I looked back and smiled "I'm going to meet my boyfriend, I just received a message from him" I lied.
I looked away and started walking. I felt my eyes welled with tears, I was looking up to keep it from falling down my cheeks.
"I'm happy for you" Bullet shouted.
I raised my hand as a gesture that I heard him, and continued walking. I wiped my tears away so I can turn around and bid them good bye. But they were not looking at me anymore. They were laughing, seemed to be having a very good conversation.
Sure you are happy for me and my made up story of my boyfriend meeting me, but I know your happier for yourself and your new found soon to be girlfriend.

I never came back to the cafe after that day. I just told my friends that me and my boyfriend are trying to make things work together but the truth is I was breaking into pieces and the worst part, is I was really alone.

A week passed and it was already my birthday. I invited everyone to a karaoke party, including Bullet.
Everyone came, except him. I was surprised Jasmine was with another guy.
We were singing our hearts out. My friends were asking me where my boyfriend is. I just told them that we had a pre-celebration of my birthday yesterday and this day is for friends.
I was surprised when I heard someone outside our rented karaoke house. I went out to check, I know its Bullet, I know he'll come. I really wanted him to come.
I opened the door and I was surprised.
I was surprised to find my boyfriend.
Before I was able to open my mouth, he said "You're mom told me where to find you, I'm sorry. Please. Just let me explain in the car"
I looked at my friends and they were having fun singing and drinking.
"Guys I need to go" I said.
They all gave me a smile and waved. I looked at how happy my friends were. Maybe they're fine without me for now. As well as Bullet, maybe I really wasn't that important that he'll come to my birthday. I just thought I am.
And here's one special person who did.

All those memories with Bullet, his face, his smile, his eyes, the blue sky, and the big floating clouds, will always be in my mind. Unfortunately it's not happiness that I'll feel anymore, but regret; regret that I ever thought of being happy with him, regret of believing at all.

Dear Lorraine

Bullet POV

I admit, I lied.

During the first day of school I wasn't able to enter the campus without wearing my uniform. And I also don't have a class at 7:30 in the morning. I don't have a class in the morning at all. I took an afternoon schedule for all my subjects. I'm not that morning person.

It was my sister who woke me up on the first day of school. She wants me to drive her to school and I don't have any choice. She was my sister and I can't stand ignoring her request.
I was on my way home when I decided to pass by the cafe to see if Alex was already there. And it was you I found.
At first I hated you, you and your loud voice when I mistakenly took your cigarette.
But it's your eyes that disturbed me that day, it's a picture of pure pain and sorrow.
I went to your table when you asked me why am I not wearing my uniform, so I lied.
I lied to have a reason to stay at the cafe with you everyday. I lied when I said that you look ugly.
You were pretty, deep-seated eyes, pink lips and dark hair, which made your complexion look lighter.
But you're always sad. Always angry.
I don't want you to think too much of being forgotten by your boyfriend. That's why I often piss you.
Just by looking at you, I knew that you were kind to him, just by merely knowing the fact that you're waiting for him even though you don't have any idea if you were waiting for something at all.

When my cards were confiscated in the cafe, it was the first time I saw you smile. Your eyes were so expressive. It sparkled as you laughed. I want to see you that way everyday, I want to make you happy because I know you deserve to be.

I thought we were something. You treated me like I meant something for you.
When you told Jasmine that you'll always be waiting for your boyfriend, I was in pain. So I lied. I lied that I'll never be wanting you as a girlfriend, but the truth is I do. I really do.
It hurts to remember that day, to remember you walking away from me to meet your boyfriend because he already remembered you.
Please listen to me Lorraine. I love you and I can make you happy. If you'll just give me a chance I'll never let anyone bring that pain in your heart again. But you never gave me a chance at all.
I thought to myself that maybe I'm just not the one, because I waited for you to turn around and come back but you never did. You just walked away from me. So I faced the reality, I looked back at Jasmine and pretended that I'm enjoying our conversation.

I saw you one time walking outside the school campus, but you were not walking towards the cafe. I thought you already made plans with your boyfriend that's why you're busy.
But there was something wrong with you, the same thing when I first saw you alone at the cafe, your eyes, still full of pain and sorrow.

Everyday I waited for you at the cafe but you never came. I felt so empty. It seems like a part of me is missing and everyday I think about your eyes, and everyday I ask myself, why were they not sparkling with happiness like what I saw when you were laughing?
That's when I knew that you weren't happy at all. You lied to me. Maybe you were still alone, that you never received a message from your boyfriend?
What if the words I spoke when Jasmine was talking to us did hurt you? Maybe that's why you made it all up.

Then I received a message from you. I was so happy. You invited me on your birthday. In that moment I swore to myself that you'll worry nothing. That on that day you'll be happy because you deserve to be and I hope that it'll be because of me.
I bought balloons, so that you'll set them free to the sky like you told me to. And I'll tell you to set free of yourself as well because it's when you set free of yourself that you'll find where you truly belong, and it's where you'll be happy.
I made myself ready that night when I noticed I'm late.
Its fine I said to myself the party is until midnight. I need to prepare for this, it should be perfect.
I checked the balloons, I looked at myself in the mirror then went to my car. I was so nervous and excited as well. I want to see your sparkling eyes once again.
I arrived at the venue. I took the balloons and closed my car when I saw you and your boyfriend getting inside his car.
And drove away.

Remember that dream you once told me about? When the sun kissed the sky? And the clouds hung in the air like balloons? That's where I saw you.

But you were walking away from me.