Cracked Abyss

We all have struggles through life. If you aren't in a storm... you need to prepare for one. I wrote this after crying my eyes out for my brother's monkey.

Moisten your lips in preparation of what is here…
I called you and you came
 leaving a wife
Kids, hope, strength…dreams
As you saw the images coming into view
Everything you believed in and that believed in you
You just sat them on the shore
Taking that step to the oceans floor…
The abyss.
  What was gone now awaits your welcoming kiss
 once hidden by the one that left you desolate and vile
Only
 now returning and bestowing
 you with seven times the supremacy, and domination
 over your mere existence as before
you folded, and the pipe reigns
no resistance like a worn rubber band
You stood up and showed the fallen one your hand
Take me in deep…
Finally you will peacefully sleep
Trust in me ...let me own your soul
Pay me forever with your life’s toll
Yes you are mine now to destroy
Feel me rise into darkness from lost joy
Love me!
The wanted ruler of your tomorrows
Look into my eyes and not see your Mother’s sorrow
I owe you nothing from my empty promises of pain and suffering
But I rape you of everything
Because you looked back into my eyes
I char your mind with my images and demise
Unaware of my plan to raze many,
 I sought you for my tyranny.
I thank you with the lives ruined by my touch
Through you
…Because you had so much.



 

Reviews

[☮]

This is definitely a brave write. You are talking from the other side and expressing how evil thinks. You've personified temptation in its most hellish form and communicated its only intentions, which are to divide, conquer and possess.

Let your poem be a reminder to believers every day. Beware the abyss.
Outsanding piece. Favorite.

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

DOPE!!!!!!!!!! I felt the s**t out of this one!!!!! I love the anger and passion in this piece. It was almost Shakespearean towards the end and I loved it. The climax would build and build with more and more rage!

"I owe you nothing from my empty promises of pain and suffering
But I rape you of everything
Because you looked back into my eyes
I char your mind with my images and demise
Unaware of my plan to raze many,
I sought you for my tyranny.
I thank you with the lives ruined by my touch
Through you
�Because you had so much."

I can see this in a play or just at a reading! Great, GREAT write L!

[Amanda]

WOW, what a excellent piece of literature! the storm you set in motion and it's descriptions of what evil intends to do are amazing in itself.

As you saw the images coming into view
Everything you believed in and that believed in you
You just sat them on the shore
Taking that step to the oceans floor�

once one takes that step, it is very hard to turn back....i'm not saying impossible, just very hard and not usually until the one is beaten and used. this i understand quite well, looking down into that cracked abyss.

exceptional writing, my dear...you never cease to amaze :)

Always,

Amanda

[Legion]

Talk about a self-imposed downfall. Well worded. Immaculate in its imagery. Wonderfully done.

[Walkingblind]

Wow some major lyrical poetry once more I was actually waiting from another from u
I was especting a bomb like this. You've painted a picture of evil's plan to take u,
break u, tame u, and then laugh at the pathetically broken u. I love how you had
darkness be seducful all the while still showing its dark self an promising its end result.
This is a perfect example of a storm, (or multiple storms actually) that comes our way
threatening to rip us bare and destroy not only our bodies, but our emotions and spirit
very different from u Lyrik always good to see u flexing your mind. Fantastic tense for
real poem that not only needs to be read but taken to heart.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Ms Love you have really done something very different but spectacular all the same... the raw power of anger is like a volcano erupting, humans are very prone to vices just some are more damaging then others... having a sister who was a cocaine addict I can understand this very well... everything is bout them and loved ones are just causality of their addiction...

Kids, hope, strength�dreams
As you saw the images coming into view
Everything you believed in and that believed in you
You just sat them on the shore
Taking that step to the oceans floor�

and that right there says it all...
I am floored again by your talents and convictions.
Brilliant work.

[Mason Vail]

I confess, I'm struggling to understand this one. I get a sense of sorrow, menace and foreboding, but I don't know from where. Perhaps that is your intent? The faceless, formless storm?
*sigh*
Guess I need to turn in my junior novice amateur candidate poet's credentials at the desk on my way out... ;)