Cracked Abyss

We all have struggles through life. If you aren't in a storm... you need to prepare for one. I wrote this after crying my eyes out for my brother's monkey.

Moisten your lips in preparation of what is here…
I called you and you came
 leaving a wife
Kids, hope, strength…dreams
As you saw the images coming into view
Everything you believed in and that believed in you
You just sat them on the shore
Taking that step to the oceans floor…
The abyss.
  What was gone now awaits your welcoming kiss
 once hidden by the one that left you desolate and vile
Only
 now returning and bestowing
 you with seven times the supremacy, and domination
 over your mere existence as before
you folded, and the pipe reigns
no resistance like a worn rubber band
You stood up and showed the fallen one your hand
Take me in deep…
Finally you will peacefully sleep
Trust in me ...let me own your soul
Pay me forever with your life’s toll
Yes you are mine now to destroy
Feel me rise into darkness from lost joy
Love me!
The wanted ruler of your tomorrows
Look into my eyes and not see your Mother’s sorrow
I owe you nothing from my empty promises of pain and suffering
But I rape you of everything
Because you looked back into my eyes
I char your mind with my images and demise
Unaware of my plan to raze many,
 I sought you for my tyranny.
I thank you with the lives ruined by my touch
Through you
…Because you had so much.



 

Reviews

[☮]

This is definitely a brave write. You are talking from the other side and expressing how evil thinks. You've personified temptation in its most hellish form and communicated its only intentions, which are to divide, conquer and possess.

Let your poem be a reminder to believers every day. Beware the abyss.
Outsanding piece. Favorite.

[Blackpoet421]

You really did a outstanding job ith this one!!!!!!!!! and the pure fatc that its a reality in so many homes families and communities...very good job.
Thank you for sharing

[Freder Fredersen (aka G..]

Well done. Your dark tone is strong, and your poignant point was illuminated with great skill. Bravo!
FF

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Sounds like the pull of Satan to me. Great Job.

[Jason]

I enjoyed this piece. I had to go over it a few times cause it just that deep. But I love the way you describe temptation and what the results of those actions could be. This spoke to me a lot...





Thanks

[nocturnalbeast]

Whoa! I loved this...and as Cyntax said...this is definitely a brave write! I love how it flows, and the way the character speaks to me. This piece REALLY speaks to me!
Good Work!

[Spoken]

this makes me think of addiction. Maybe that's what i get out of it because that's the storm i weather. Laying truth that a reader takes from a piece what they need. I always say "it is whatever it means to you" Great word crafting!

Moisten your lips in preparation of what is here�
I called you and you came
leaving a wife
Kids, hope, strength�dreams
As you saw the images coming into view
Everything you believed in and that believed in you
You just sat them on the shore
Taking that step to the oceans floor�

strong words here. Right on and write on

[THE LOST ROSE]

Wow knowing the struggles you have with keeping someone on a straight an narrow you have penned a wonderful piece. I hear your frustration, I hear your love and I hear your potential lost. Sometimes we try to save someone who doesn't want to be saved. This is one that you give to the Lord. I stand in prayer with you and thank you for reminding us that the readers should all remember to pray for one another. Standing "O".

[just is]

Kids, hope, strength�dreams
As you saw the images coming into view
Everything you believed in and that believed in you
You just sat them on the shore
Taking that step to the oceans floor�
The abyss.

Such deep lines here you have woven, I can sense the power of anger in this.
This is wonderful, expressing a side like this.
This is oustanding. TO take a stand and write something like this is just simply
amazing.

You havve penned a most intelligent write write full of truth and matters
in which we face today. Well expressed.

[Xeru]

This was something that not only had to be read but it had to be felt. In feeling this.. It was an ode to a miserable forever due to unforgivable mistakes... Eerie... And very moving. The personification of evil talking his s**t was as eloquent as I'd picture him doing in a state of already being in the winners circle. A relentless breakdown even when he already has what he wants. lol Brilliantly written. Laced with an unescapable sorrow. That movie of your life replaying back to you as your worst enemy points oout to you where you fucked up at. Gotta love that... I like this because I'd never picture you writing something like this and you did it extremely well. You know you already have a fan. You just reinforced the fact by puttin some Stank on it...lol Straight Fire ba.. Keep it coming

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Ooh, dark!

"But I rape you of everything" --my favorite line; yeah, that pretty much sums it all up. It reminds me of the concept of "selling your soul to the devil."

Awesome work!

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood