~Drips from May to September~

This is a coming together of the words that float in rivers of two minds. Lyrical Love (bolded), & Master Marvin Lewis Jr. Enjoy!

 

~Drips from May to September

 

Painting a dreamscape while sitting at the ocean's lips,

only within an empty notebook does this clouded mind rest

A break in the sky to finally see the light

that once shadowed my spirit, is now Leading me to my quest

Leaving behind every dark moment and its hurt, to be healed

right now,  

walking devoid of regrets,

for it is tears that beautify a smile

Warmth from the words of fire strike from your heart

ignite strength in my soul for you to calm

Inside the realms I visit, once my ears taste your beauty,

It is there I comprehend that you were fashioned by the bare hands of God

I am wet with sounds sent, to me as you

liquefy my spirit

cleanse

my every being...

then, there I will receive you

and drink...    

while gazing upon the fragrances your imagination daydreams

the manner in which your mind blossoms

 has made me afraid to blink

the quickness you feel, that will arrive

 will be your new sense to enjoy for a while

the presence of my sumptuous satire

will drip

onto your lips

 forever…

over, and over again… you’ll thirst no more

for that vibrant hue

as you paint my image in your mind

of tranquility while being stilled

as I am guiding your hands

Somewhere above our firmament or beside a cherubim

I do not see limits but if they're here, I am happy to be trapped,

I've never felt this so it must be a reverie

for my ears have felt surfaces unknown to hands.

I am almost too weak to stand

my eyes comprehend this realm by the mouthfuls  

giving my intellect indigestion,

leaving my heart searching for the proper timing,

In a sentimental mood,

I hope this song never ends.  

            

 

  

                      

 

 

 

Reviews

[Lyrical Love]

Marvin, I now know and trust what I 'feel' even more because of you. I could feel your strength, perspicasity, and confidence under an umbrella of humility by reading your work. The power that you hold-beams around you and your words, leading me to a personal sanctuary of peace. Thank you for your personal time, and thoughts.
The pleasure has been all mine in seeing a masterful protege' of the highest power create, and relate with me. I pray that you stay in the middle of the road (on the right path). The world will be different, refreshed and new after they meet the power of 'you'.
~Warmly, Lyrical

[Poets Soul]

This is a wonderful poem, it flows from line to line, stanza to stanza. There is a depth of feelings and emotions underwritten throughout the poem. Great job. TY PS

[Ray Hamilton]

This is a wonderful piece of work
I enjoyed it very much
Thanks for sharing
Ray

[Emily Rose]

Wonderfully metaphysical. I liked the feelings it evoked and the way it was subtle without being completely esoteric. Good job!

I will say, however, that both of you went a bit comma-happy. This particularly happened in the bolded lines. A LOT of the commas were unnecessary, and they really disrupted the flow. I think you might've been trying to use commas the way one might use a line break, but it just made the poem a bit choppy and detracted from the ambiance you set up. Also, I think the first line would be clearer if it read "ocean's lips" or "oceans' lips" - it feels like it should be possessive, and when it's not it's just a little confusing. Going over it again and deciding which punctuation marks you really need and don't need would be a good move that would make this poem stronger.

It's a good collaboration, although I do think that each poet is saying something different sometimes; there are points in the poem where one poet or the other seems to be vying for control over the message, and that leaves it a little muddled and hard to understand (especially with the imagery - each of you seem to focus on a slightly different set of images instead of building off of each other.) You might want to talk it out and go through it line by line, telling each other what you were thinking so you can get it to mesh a little better. Nevertheless, it was well done. Something as intimate as poetry is very hard to collaborate on, so kudos to both of you.

[Sharon Miller Bolander]

You both did admirably well expressing your feelings and connecting with each other. As I finished reading, my thoughts turned to the fact that you both seem to have enjoyed penning this collaboration and should do it again in the near future. :-) Sharon

[Anima Inspired]

Wow...this was very well done. I love it when two poetic minds come together, especially when they are able to truly "get" what the other is thinking...

This piece is both romantic and tragic, both passionate and beautiful...the pictures painted with both of your words are breathtaking. My favorite part of the piece is the last line... "I hope this song never ends"...I think that it just sums up the "feeling" of the piece for me.

Both of you have very fine poetic voices...I think another pairing might be in order...? Looking forward to it! Bravo!

[Samuel Dickens]

A fine outcome for this dual effort. "Giving my intellect indigestion" I like that--it's original.

[THE LOST ROSE]

Fantastic poem. Just blown away. There is something there that need to be bottle up and every poet should get a taste of that juice.

[Lady V]

This feels, yes I said feels, like the connection was through every piece of each poet. There is so much said as my eyes passed each word that I ended up reading the whole thing again. There was a passion through the mixture of words and thoughts. There was aspiration as you passed from one line to the next. What can be said? This piece goes above and beyond. Thank you for sharing it with me.

Live, Love and Learn

Lady V

[Marvin Lewis Jr.]

Not bad for our first time writing together, huh?
I respect your artistry and it was truly a pleasure creating this with you!

-Marv