Part 4, Chapter 4

Let’s travel the worlds

Ch 4

Renping almost ran into Xun at the palace gate. Xun was wearing her traveling clothes and had a wrapped bundle under her arm. Renping grabbed her by the shoulders.

“Where are you going?” Renping demanded. “You can’t go to the battlefield. The Emperor would be unstoppable if you were hurt!”

Xun looked confused, “What are you talking about?”

Renping thought of the force that had radiated off of the Emperor crushing everything that opposed him. Xun never needed to see him like that. “Nothing. Where are you going?” She repeated. 

Xun looked uncomfortable. “I need some time to think, I’m going to go and stay with my cousins for a while.”

Renping stomped her foot. “I am tired, scared, and I just saw a whole lot of people die. Tell me the truth or so help me…”

Xun took a step back. “I’m leaving! The Dowager Empress and I have agreed that I am not the right Empress for Jianyu! Maybe I can come back after he’s picked the right woman, but for now I’m just an obstacle to his safety!”

“No,” Renping said simply. “You would never leave the Emperor for just that. You may not agree to be the Empress, but you love Jianyu. You wouldn’t leave him over that.”

Xun sighed and shifted her bag, “I do love him. More than anything. But I can’t be the Empress and he needs an Empress. As long as that throne remains empty there will be constant unrest in the Heavenly Realm. He needs an Empress and it can’t be me. I’m not ready to take on that responsibility. I don’t know if I will ever be ready. I love Jianyu, but I can’t separate Jianyu from the Emperor.”

Renping, shredded from everything she had been through that day, threw her arms around her friend and cried. Xun patted her frantically on the back, trying to comfort her, but Renping was inconsolable. Xun and Jianyu, Shun and Xiaomin, why couldn’t any of her friends be allowed to just be with the people they loved? How many of the soldiers dead in battle had lovers waiting for them? Why couldn’t the people simply live?

Eventually she calmed down. Xun held her for a few more moments before gently pushing her to stand on her own.

“Renping, come with me?” She said. “We’ll go to my cousins’ place first and then we can go out with one of their trading caravans. We can travel all the realms, not just the Heavenly Realm.”

Renping nodded, too wrung out to say anything, and the two women left the palace and disappeared into the city.