Acceptance

Accepting your sexuality can be one of the hardest things you will ever do but is also one of the most worthwhile. The process can be a lot like the 5 stages of grief:

1. Denial and Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

This can be a very confusing time and you have just got to remember that its no ones fault so you cant blame anyone or yourself. There is a large debate over if it is or isn't a choice but it isn't a choice and its important that you know that if you are to ever accept what you are.

My Story

Looking back its easier to be able to tell this as at the time I did not know what was happening to me. I started feeling an attraction for the same sex round the age of 13 though at the time I did not know what I was feeling as it was a very confusing time as I had just hit the dreaded puberty. Still before I had realised what was going on I had my first crush on a guy in school and had so many weird desires. Flash forward 3 years to age 16 when I started experimenting with a friend who we will call "B" for this. B and I started with harmless watching of porn together this lead to oral sex. One day we were watching porn and masturbating together, an oral scene came on and I realised that I liked looking at the man more and I realised then that it wasn't normal. Thus started a very long acceptance process, for a long time I was in denial that I was anything other than curious and that it would go away, when it didn't I was angry at myself and B, I didn't blame him, mostly blamed myself and actually prayed and wished I was normal for a long time, I had came out as Bi-sexual to everyone outside my family but still wished I was normal and didn't have the urge to look at a cute guys bum every time they walked past. Id like to say I skipped the depression stage but I didn't and am not really willing to talk about it. It took me till the age of 20 before I finally accepted that I am Gay.