Goodbye Love

A short story about obbession

GOODBYE LOVE

 LYNNE ROBERTS

2009

 

 

         It was a dark and stormy night, okay so maybe it was just an ordinary sunny bright afternoon. But that’s how her heart felt, dark and stormy. She knew it was time to put things in her life in order. New year, new life. Time to get rid of all the excess baggage she had carried around with her through out the old year. Most of that said baggage was easy to dispose of, old clothes she hadn’t acknowledged existed in her closet for over a year, a job that she hated replaced by one that she loved getting up for. Moving out of the small crowed one bedroom apartment to the loft that had plenty of room, for a few dollars more. Letting by gone be by gone, leaving old bad relationships in the past instead of the front of her mind where they had tortured her.” Check, check!” she offered making as if she was checking things off of a huge list in front of her.

 

          As these thoughts ran through her head, the wind gusted into the open window, bringing with it the smell of spring and a ghost from her past. Without looking she could feel his presence behind her as the heat of desire sparked through out her body. “No, no, it’s time to put you away! I have no time for this silly schoolgirl infatuation. It’s time to say goodbye and count my losses!” she lectured the air pushing herself angrily away from her laptop on the desk, which seemed to never stay organized these days. She could hear his slight grumble of a laugh, as a response to her dismissal that both knew was for show and had no weight behind it.

 

          A year had escaped since she decided to move to Hollywood to live in eternal bliss once she found him. How absurd she felt now reflecting back on the unrealistic hope of finding him in a town like Hollywood. It was an illusion she had let herself live, praying that at any moment he would happen to appear at the same Coffee bar that she was at. To leave it in fate’s hands to somehow get two strangers to not only meet, but fall in love at first sight in a town of thousand other lonely hearts. She had fooled herself in believing it was nothing but a crush on a star that was so far out of her reach it couldn’t be anything more. But what started out as just a fan letter to tell him how much she enjoyed the show and his antics, later turned into a birthday gift and then a Christmas present that were way to expensive and beyond her means. But since it was for him, she didn’t mind giving up the essentials for a couple of weeks: if it meant she would get a few lines of thanks and recognition from him.

 

            She had framed the autograph picture he sent in response to the letter, which use to sit on the bedside table. She couldn’t sleep at night until she ran her fingers over his mug shot and then say goodnight. It was a ritual she wondered if she would ever be able to sleep without. Now the picture along with the short emails and T-shirts she had bought from his website laid packed in the simple brown shoebox that sat peacefully out of place on her bed. She could feel the sadness soak through her heart and body as she took a guilty look at it. She had to be strong! It was time to say goodbye! She had given herself a year to accomplish her goal without any success. It was time to put asinine obsessions back in their place where they belong, in her writing, books she read and movies she watched, they didn’t belong in the real world. There was no room in her life for such things now. She had to be strong! It was his spirit that was the strong one in the room, even though she had removed every sign of him from the apartment. It was easier to clean him away from these places then it was to release him from her heart and mind.

 

         Throwing her raven hair over her shoulder she crossed to the bed with a heavy sigh of regret. How could she turn her back on something that held all her hopes and dreams from the year before? In retrospect she shouldn’t have done what she did, but one more look wouldn’t hurt anything. Why her friends wanted her to be so heartless about this was beyond her. With shaking hands she pulled the cover off the box and looked at all the items that had taken her three days to pack. If she would of let her friends do it, the box would have been done in five minutes flat without all the drama. But it was different for her, it wasn’t as if she could just throw the letters, pictures and t-shirts in the box and turn off all the feelings that were attached to them like a light switch. This was a huge part of her life and heart that they wanted her to turn her back on and forget about it like some worn out childhood toy. Her friends didn’t realize they had him to thank for their friendship. If she hadn’t moved to Hollywood for him, they wouldn’t have met.” It wouldn’t hurt to keep just a little reminder of me!” he whispered seductively in her ear. She almost believed him; nearly let him drag her under again. But no she had to be strong! It was time to move on. A promise was a promise. Keeping their date on Wed night television would be enough. At least her friends had given her that. It was a date, as long as it didn’t interfere with her responsibilities or life.

 

            Brushing her fingers lightly over the brown T-shirt at the top of the box she felt the tears and her resistance weaken. As if he knew there was still a chance her I-Tunes suddenly popped up on the computer screen as a familiar song filled the once quite apartment. As his song began to rock the room she let the tears stream down her cheeks as she whispered, “ Stop! I can’t do this if you keep torturing me like this! What’s done is done! It’s time to say goodbye! “ She cried resisting the knowledge that she needed to continue with the mission at hand. Closing her eyes she takes a deep breath and replaced the lid as the last note of his song echoed ghostly through out the room. It was time. Grabbing her cell phone from her pocket she hit a single digit and waited till someone answered. “ It’s done! Please come and get it!” With that she slammed the cover of her phone shut before flinging the damn thing across the room, not caring if it survived or not.

 

          She knew she couldn’t be here when her friend came for the box. It would have a safe place in the back of her closet, not a dignified ending to something she had cherished so. Searching for her light jacket and the dog leash she heads for the door trying to ignore the box that sat on her bed like a pink polka dotted elephant in the room. Wrestling with the puppy to put it’s leash on she opens the door to leave, but can’t make her feet cross over the threshold. Reaching over to the light switch she flicks it off hoping this was the signal her feet were waiting for. “ You know I will always love you! Maybe another time and place it will happen! For now it’s for the best if we just say goodbye. With that she heads out for a long walk in the fresh winter air, knowing that her heart would break the moment the box left for it’s new home with her friend.

 

 

Author's Note

Please ignore grammar problems. I'm more intrested in what everyone thought about the story itself. This was a assignment from the " Bad Girls Writing Group".

Reviews

[Violet Rose]

You definitely caught my attention with your first paragraph. It wasn't drab, with humor and a tinge of contrast between the emotions and the new events (the darkness in her heart versus her new life) The repetition of the narrator's words definitely was a plus throughout the story. ("Go girl, go! Be strong!") I love the fact you never mentioned the star she was after. It makes the story so general that any girl with a strange, if not a little psychotic, obsession can relate to. (Personally, it was Jonny Depp for me lol) The story felt very personal, too. The personification was amazing. Kudos! I'm sure it'll be a masterpiece once the grammatical errors are cleaned up.