Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A Chapter by LylaCrystal
"

The description of the characters

"
Filaria. One of the most powerful kingdoms in the Evonk Land. For hundreds of years, a lot of kings tried to conquer it, but they failed everytime. The leader of the kingdom, king Daivat, was a smart and sly person. He always managed to find a way to trick his enemies. The biggest help he had,came from a special team. It's name: Nightfall.
. Its members were always trying to assure the safety of the people and the king, using the abilities they were born with. 
Princess Edra was the one who formed the team. Just one glance of her was enough to let others they shouldn't have to mess with her. Her sharp blue eyes could sent chills down the spine of someone who looked at them. She'd been born with many abilities, but still learning to control them. Although she was just eighteen, in her father's opinion, she was ready to rule the kingdom. Even if Edra was considered to be a cold-hearted person, deep inside, she was warm hearted. She would've done everything necessary to save her friends.
As it was normal, in the team was necessary some humor from time to time. Asher, Noah, Zev and Blake were the experts. Asher has been Edra's best friend ever since they were children, making them inseparable. Noah was the one who usually tried to make the atmosphere more casual, but sometimes he was outrunning the limit with his jokes. Zev and his brother, Blake, were like the fire and ice. Zev was most of the time very quiet and spoke only when he considered it was the right time, but Blake was literally very annoying. He was talking very loud, he got distracted sometimes during missions, but what was getting on everyone's nerves was the fact that he had a bad habit to criticise others. Occasionally, he would apologize for his behaviour. The princess wanted to kick him out of the team, but his fire wielding abilities were a necessity. 
Despite Edra had to handle the different characters of the boys, her two sisters, as she liked to them, were there to help her. Rishima was very skilled in using guns, compensating the fact that she was couldn't control her earth wielding ability very well. The seventeen year old girl was a little bit foolish for the concern of the princess, but she managed to be serious when the situation was tough. The youngest in the team and the one Edra treasured the most was Faye. She was a wielder of weather and she was also gifted with a pair of bat wings, which was a huge advantage. Every time, she tried her best not to let down her friends. At the first sight, she seemed very fragile and the enemies thought they could kill her very easy. Big mistake. Faye was a talented fighter and could strike down ten people alone. When she wasn't in the missions with her friends, she would spend the time alone. 
Faye was only sixteen, but she was as responsible as an adult. She has been taking care of herself and the house ever since she was ten. She was orphaned at the age of four, her brother remaining her only support. Axel was ten years older than his sister and taught her everything she needed to know to take care of herself. Faye had acquired deftness in a short time, to Axel's surprise. For him, she was the ideal sister. Even if their parents were gone, she tried to be positive and encourage Axel. Although things seemed to be alright, Faye received another hit from the life. One day, six years later, she was worried for Axel. He has left her home alone since morning and hasn't come back. The girl gathered her courage and began to search for him. It was almost night, but she wasn't afraid. Faye couldn't stand the think that Axel might have been dead. Soon, the suspicion became certainity. She found her brother shot in the Forest of Venom, one of the most dangerous places in the kingdom. For Faye, the loss of her entire family was too much. She swore on her life that someday, she was going to find the one who killed Axel. 
The Nightfall team was known to be one of the most powerful in Filaria. They seemed to be invincible, but they didn't realise that one night, was going to change their lives.


© 2020 LylaCrystal


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Featured Review

For a more dramatic effect, change this....The biggest help he had, was coming from a team. A special one. Its name was The Nightfall.

To this....The biggest help he had, came from a special team. It's name: Nightfall.

Change this....The one who formed the team was the princess herself, Edra.
To this..........Princess Edra, was the one who formed the team.

Change this.... She was born with many abilities still tried to learn how to control them
To this..........She'd been born with many abilities, but still learning how to control them.

Regarding this sentence - The princess wanted to kick him out of the team, but his fire wielding abilities were essentialy.
The word 'essentialy' needs to be changed to 'a neccessity'

ALL THE ABOVE IS THERE AS A GUIDELINE AND IS IN NO WAY DISRESPECTING YOUR WRITING.

I did enjoy your story and I will continue to read more. You left it with a killer of a line and that in itself will drag me back into this brilliant world you have created.

Mark.







Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

LylaCrystal

7 Years Ago

Thank you very much for the pieces of advice. I wasn't thinking that you disrespect my writing, on t.. read more



Reviews

For a more dramatic effect, change this....The biggest help he had, was coming from a team. A special one. Its name was The Nightfall.

To this....The biggest help he had, came from a special team. It's name: Nightfall.

Change this....The one who formed the team was the princess herself, Edra.
To this..........Princess Edra, was the one who formed the team.

Change this.... She was born with many abilities still tried to learn how to control them
To this..........She'd been born with many abilities, but still learning how to control them.

Regarding this sentence - The princess wanted to kick him out of the team, but his fire wielding abilities were essentialy.
The word 'essentialy' needs to be changed to 'a neccessity'

ALL THE ABOVE IS THERE AS A GUIDELINE AND IS IN NO WAY DISRESPECTING YOUR WRITING.

I did enjoy your story and I will continue to read more. You left it with a killer of a line and that in itself will drag me back into this brilliant world you have created.

Mark.







Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

LylaCrystal

7 Years Ago

Thank you very much for the pieces of advice. I wasn't thinking that you disrespect my writing, on t.. read more
Your story was a delightful surprise! I love sci fi :) Congratulations on effortlessly compiling all the necessary beginning details in a pleasant reading format. And great job packing so much into such a small space. I love it and look forward to more later :) I.I.

Posted 7 Years Ago


LylaCrystal

7 Years Ago

I'm so happy that you like my story. I hope you will like my other chapters, too. I also look forwar.. read more
Isabella Ivy

7 Years Ago

A pleasure to read your work and your compliment encourages me :) I.I.
I really like this! You have a very readable style of writing and you have depicted the characters very well. Great work:)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

LylaCrystal

7 Years Ago

I'm glad you liked it :)
Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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Interestingly awesome! Congrats on a great piece of work.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

LylaCrystal

7 Years Ago

Thank you very much

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Added on January 15, 2017
Last Updated on April 10, 2020
Tags: team, kingdom, members, friends, powers


Author

LylaCrystal
LylaCrystal

About
I'm just a normal person. People usually consider me weird because I'm just trying to be myself. I love playing piano and guitar, dancing, acting and of course writing. Art is an essential part of my .. more..

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A Book by LylaCrystal