I am gone

Shedding the mortal skin

Don't bother looking I am gone
From the earth I have withdrawn
Another realm I have entered
To this place my soul surrendered

Close your eyes turn off the light
In your dreams I'll come into sight
This is where we shall again meet
To make you feel again complete

Let go of your worries and the pain
This is a stress free happy domain
Here I will always lend a ear
No need to worry I won't disappear

I know what my absence has meant
Leaving you alone did make you resent
My absence did come with a cost
Now you walk around feeling lost

Two peas in pod they used to say
Together we thought we would always stay
But the man above had separate plans
There is no one to deny his demands

One day my life came to a halt
Because of a two man armed assault
With a hammer and a smash
My light went out quick as a flash

But I don't mind and I don't hate
The struggles of life adds weight
Death takes away that heavy burden
I'm not sad, of that you can be certain

At my passing I shed my skin
My soul was waiting deep within
It finally could spread its wings
To go above where my new life would begin

I finally became an angel of light
Entering your dreams in the dead of night
Through your dreams I can give you advice
Now this way of talking will have to suffice

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

Shedding the skin so the soul can take flight is beautiful, breathtaking. The narrator in the poem is free and unburdened but it is a bittersweet tale for someone misses them immensely and feels lost without their other half. I am not sure if I have read this one before but if I have I’m glad I stopped in for a second visit

[mattavelli]

Hello, Lykos, thank you for entering my contest! :)
You tell the story well, but I think you could put more thought into your phrasing. As is, each line accomplishes the rhyme.

[Lykos]

Thanks for the constructive criticism Mattavelli, I appreciate it.

[Hebe]

Very heartfelt words and the rhyme flows right to heaven. You took a tragic situation and turned it into a magical story. Amazing!

[Lykos]

Thank you, means a lot, appreciate the review

[Malvika]

This is a beautiful poem ,it has a good flow to it, captivating and impactful.

[Lykos]

Glad you liked it, thanks for the review

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

( Pure Rhymes)Beautifully written poem. Lyrical with great form, flow, cadence, rhyme. Subject is brutal, honest, transcendent at the end. Horrific circumstance described, but relatable to any death of a loved one. Sad but uplifting. Well- penned!

[Lykos]

Thank you for the review it's greatly appreciated.

[rowan.taylorrr]

very powerful. it's a emotional ride and was an amazing read, good job!

[Lykos]

Thanks for the review..

[LukewarmLollipop]

Wow, powerful poem. I wasn't expecting to find out how he died, but it was an thing that I think added depth to your poem. In a sea of poems of ambiguity, your poem stands out in placing actual factual events in the subjects life instead of just metaphors, which can be quite rare sometimes but I quite like it.

[Lykos]

Thank you for the review. Appreciate it.

[FlatLineBeauty]

This was beautiful and went straight to the soul. Just the way you paint with words sends shivers in a good way and just opens the flood gates of memories. Excellent penmenship. xo FLB

[Lykos]

Glad you liked it. Thanks for the review..

[FlatLineBeauty]

you are welcome

[apennylate]

This was a shedding of my sins as I gnawed at this woeful morsel of grim...

*But I don't mind and I don't hate
The struggles of life adds weight
Death takes away that heavy burden
I'm not sad, of that you can be certain *

Deep, and the spreading of wings in the next line carries it further still... Very well penned...

[Lykos]

Thanks for the review Silente. Appreciate it

[apennylate]

You are most welcome...